


Didn't Know Love

by dontfretbaby



Category: Glee, Glee RPF
Genre: M/M, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-15
Updated: 2015-02-12
Packaged: 2018-01-15 18:11:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 37,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1314310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontfretbaby/pseuds/dontfretbaby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darren Criss rarely picks up his seven-year-old daughter from school, but one day he does and it alters everything when he meets her teacher, Mr. Colfer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well, while recovering from surgery and on Vicodin, this came out of me. Not sure if this will turn into anything! Also, if this does continue I'll be looking for a wonderful beta.
> 
> Contact me on [tumblr](http://www.dontfretbaby.tumblr.com)!

“Okay little people. The bell is about to ring so pass up your spelling tests and start packing up. Don’t forget about career day tomorrow!” Chris said, standing at the front of his class.

He collected the tests at the front of each row and set them on his desk. Sliding his glasses to the bridge of his nose, Chris walked to the door where his third graders were congregating, waiting for the bell to ring.

It never fails to amaze him the conversations his kids have. It did keep him in the loop when it came to pop culture though.

Who knew Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez were back together.

When the bell finally rings, Chris opened the door and tried to say goodbye to his students, but the kids rushed out of the room like they were heading to a Black Friday sale. Chris watched with a small smile, waving to some of the parents before going back into his classroom.

It had been a good, yet uneventful six months on his first job after college. Sure, he thought majoring in English would lead to a lustrous career writing best-selling novels. However, reality was harsh and publishing companies weren’t so interested in his “unconventional” children books.

So there he was. 24-year-old Chris Colfer. Or Mr. Colfer to his kids, grading third grade spelling tests at a San Francisco elementary school. Definitely better than slaving over his laptop (and wine) on a strict deadline.

After a while, the draft in the room caused goosebumps up his spine so he got up to close the door. He looked around the courtyard as he kicked up the door stopper, but before the door was completely closed Chris saw one of his students sitting Indian style against the building’s wall.

Chris walked over to her and crouched down, “Hey Kennedy, what are you still doing here? Where are your parents?”

The seven-year-old pushed her black curls out from the front of her eyes before speaking, “I’m waiting for my dad. My mom’s away for work so my daddy was supposed to pick me up.” Kennedy said.

He smiled sadly, “Why don’t you come back to the classroom while you wait. It’s getting chilly out here.” Chris grabbed the girl’s orange backpack and rested a hand on her shoulder, leading her back into the school.

Chris set Kennedy’s bag on the desk closest to his own then sat down in his chair. They were both so involved in their work that Chris almost leaped out of his chair when he heard the door make a loud squeaking noise as it was opening.

“Hey baby,” a man, who Chris automatically knew was Kennedy’s dad based on the curls alone, said. **  
**

Kennedy squealed and jumped out of her seat, running and jumping into his arms. She smiled as if they hadn’t seen each other in a while. Not wanting to ruin their Hallmark moment, Chris tried his best to look away, but couldn’t take his eyes off of Kennedy’s dad.

He was handsome to say the least. He had a little scruff that Kennedy was running her knuckles over laughing. A simple black and white striped shirt that showed a little patch of chest hair that made his mouth water.

Get yourself together, Colfer.

*

Darren saw Kennedy’s teacher staring the moment he picked up his daughter. He couldn’t say he didn’t mind. He watched the teacher’s eyes rake over his body and couldn’t help, but wink when his eyes connected with his, caught. His blush made Darren chuckle, but when he stood up, it was his turn to look him over.

Tightest. Pants. Ever.

He took in his slim waist and as he got closer, Darren was mesmerized by his piercing blue eyes. He could only tear his eyes away when Kennedy put her hand on his cheek and pushed his face to look at hers.

“Daddy, this is my teacher, Mr. Colfer.” Kennedy said pointing to the man who is wearing the best black jeans Darren had ever seen.

He smiled brightly and extended a hand, “Nice to meet you Mr. Colfer.”

“You too Mr. Criss,” he said shaking Darren’s hand.

“Sorry I’m late. Kennedy’s mom is away on business and I’m usually on the road for work so I’m not used to picking her up. I know it’s not an excuse, but to be honest, I didn’t even know what time school ended.” Darren automatically regretted blurting that out.

Way to make yourself sound like a deadbeat dad.

Mr. Colfer smiled at Darren sympathetically, “School gets out at 2:45.”

“Noted,” He smiled back. Darren set Kennedy down and placed a kiss on her forehead. “Why don’t you pack your things and we can go home?” As his daughter rushed to get her things together, Darren kicked himself for presenting himself in a bad light to his daughter's teacher.

“Again, I’m sorry, but thank you for keeping an eye on her.”

“It’s not a problem. Am I going to be seeing you tomorrow for career day?” Mr. Colfer asked.

Darren raised an eyebrow. “Career day?” He asked looking down at his daughter.

Kennedy’s head fell forward. “Yeah, I was going to ask you if you wanted to come, but I thought you might be too busy.”

If Darren had a dime every time he’d heard ‘I thought you might be too busy’ from his daughter and Julia, he wouldn’t need to work all the time. He sighed, using one of his fingers to push Kennedy’s chin up. “I’m never too busy for you baby.” Darren placed a kiss on her cheek. “Got it?”

Kennedy nodded and stuck her arms out to be picked up. Darren never got tired of holding his little girl. Before leaving he turned to Mr. Colfer, for one last glance. “I’ll be here. What time?”

“After the first recess. We have a little bit of class work to do, but the rest of the day is devoted to the presentation.”

Darren nodded, “See you tomorrow Mr. Colfer.”

“Why don’t you pick me up from school more often daddy?” Kennedy asked when they walked out of the classroom.

Darren thought, the kid has a point.

*

Chris woke up the next morning, exhausted as usual. His isonomia hasn’t wavered over the years. He dragged himself out of bed and into the shower. He then selected his outfit of the day. He wanted to dress up more than usual today. It’s because of the parents... not because of a particular parent.

Looking at himself in the mirror he adjusted his maroon tie that matched perfectly, but not too perfectly, to his maroon blazer, grey and white checkered shirt and he added a black and grey handkerchief for his jacket pocket for good measure. When he walked into school that morning, some of his colleagues commented on the extra pip in his step.  

Room 219. His home away from home. Chris started setting up for his lecture and before he knew it he saw some of his students and some parents waiting in line near his class. The bell rang as he reached his door and smiled letting everyone enter.

“I set up a table in the back for parents,” he said pointing to the back. “If you don’t mind waiting there while I lecture a bit.” He turned his attention back to the students entering the class and greeted each one. “Hello Kennedy. Nice scarf.” Chris said to the last person in line.

“Hi Mr. Colfer.” She let go of her dad’s hand as she walked into class to take her seat.

“I’m early,” Chris looked up at Kennedy’s dad and for the first time really looked at him. Actually he could have spent all day looking at those hazel eyes. They were so inviting.

He smiled back and followed him into the classroom. “Yes you are, glad to see it.” He walked to the front of the class. “Good morning everyone.” Chris grabbed his clipboard with his role sheets.

“Good morning Mr. Colfer.” The students said back in unison.

“Okay, why don’t you guys take out some paper.” Chris said, preparing to go over one of the important lessons in life. **  
**

The difference between two, to and too **.**

*

The bell for the first recess rang and the kids all, but ran outside. Chris grabbed his keys and made his way to the back. “I am on recess duty today. You can stay in here if you’d like or go outside.” He said amiably to the parents before working outside.

“So this is a day in the life of an elementary school teacher?” Kennedy’s dad said behind Chris, obviously the only parent taking the outside option.

Chris shrugged. “More or less. It’s nice though.” Mr. Criss nodded to Chris. “So what do you do?”

He gave a shy smile and scratched the back of his neck. “I’m a music producer.”

Chris definitely wasn’t expecting that. He was amused. “Oh? What kind of music? Anything I’ve heard?”

“Well, I actually just got back from L.A. yesterday working with Capital Cities. They are kind of indie pop. They had a popular song out last year called -”

“Safe and Sound,” Chris said finishing his thought. “I loved that song. It was my ringtone for a while there.” He admitted and instantly regretted it. Fanboy was the last image he wanted to portray.

“Oh really? That’s fu-freaking awesome. So glad you enjoyed it.” He corrected himself as they watched the kids on the playground.

For some reason Chris desperately wanted to keep this conversation going. It made recess duty go by faster. “So what does your wife do?”

It was Kennedy’s dad’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “You mean Julia? Oh, we’re not married anymore.”

Nice move Colfer. “Oh my god. I’m so sorry. That was inappropriate for me to ask. I apologize.” He rushed.

“No worries. It’s not a big deal.” Chris nodded at his reply and glad he didn’t commend him for being nosey. Thankfully Mr. Criss’ cell phone started to ring from its place in his pocket. He took it out and checked the screen.

“It’s my friend. I gotta take this.” He said, walking away.

Chris tried really, really hard to not watch him walk away. But the wind blew lightly moved his face in that direction.

Damn wind.

*

“And our last speaker,” Chris looked at his list and tried to hide his smile. “Mr. Criss, Kennedy’s dad.” The class applauded, a little louder this time. **  
**

He winked at Chris for the second time in two days when he got to the front of the classroom. It almost sent Chris into cardiac arrest.

“Now, unlike some of the jobs that we’ve talked about today, mine doesn’t involve sitting at a desk, making powerpoints or working the mandatory 9 to 5.” Chris tightened his hands around the pen he was holding a little - he basically described his job perfectly. “Which is totally awesome and cool in its own right. But I make music for a living. I live out in Los Angeles part time and produce and write some of the songs you guys may have heard on the radio. I’ve worked with Katy Perry, the band Paramore and my first big gig ever was working with Taylor Swift. I love music and what I do and I think that is what is most important about life kids. Doing what you love makes life... if I can use a word that you shouldn't use.. freaking amazing.  So uh..any questions.”

Arms shot up like crazy and he laughed, calling on one girl in the front. “What do you mean by you produce music?”

“In the simplest terms,  I take a bunch of sounds and beats and mix them all together to make a song. Different things inspire me and the music just flows out of me really.” The questions continued for quite sometime. It seemed like everyone had a question. A few minutes before the bell, Chris stood next to Mr. Criss at the front of the class.

“Let’s give it up for Mr. Criss and all our other speakers who took the time out of their day to talk to us.” Chris glanced at the clock behind him. “We have some time left before the bell so why don’t you all just take it easy.” Chris turned to Kennedy’s dad and smiled. “You’re a good public speaker Mr. Criss.”

He shrugged and smiled. “The perks of being a musical theatre major I guess. Oh, and please call me Darren.”

Darren. Chris beamed at the fact of knowing his name. “Well I really appreciate you coming in. My lectures get a bit boring for the kids so I like to get guest speakers to come in and talk to him. It breaks up the monotony and gets them interested.” He explained.

“Well, personally, I don’t think I could ever get tired of hearing you talk.” The words slipped from Darren's mouth so effortlessly that Chris noticed how his eyes bugged out and he lowered his head right after saying it.

He is flirting? Can’t be. He is _obviously_ straight. However that didn’t stop him from running 50 shades of red. “Well, thank you. I’m going to talk to some of the other parents.” He said, slowly walking backwards a few paces before turning around and making his way to the back. Chris spent the rest of the class, talking to the parents and thanking them for coming.

He finished making his rounds and was talking to some the students when the bell rang. He waved bye to everyone as they left and sighed when the room was empty. There were so many people in the classroom today it just seemed like too much. Next time he’d know to split it up into a couple days, not just one. He turned around when he heard the door open and relaxed when it was Darren.

“Sorry,” he said, letting the door close behind him. “I forgot my phone.” He made his way to the table in the back.

“Oh, no problem.” He said and couldn’t help, but watch closely as he bent down to retrieve his phone.

“Got it.” He said breaking him out of his daze.

Chris tried to not overthink the way Darren looked at him. It was like he was looking through him. “Have a great afternoon Mr. Criss.”

“You too and again, call me Darren.” He said with a wink before leaving the room.

There is probably just something in his eye.

Definitely something in his eye.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again.
> 
> I want to thank you guys for all your encouraging words the first go around. The feedback was so overwhelming so here we are for round two!
> 
> Special thank you to my fantastic beta for this crazy adventure - [Stacey](http://www.somethingdarrenish.tumblr.com/). Send her all the love as well.
> 
> Don't forget to share your feedback with me on [tumblr](http://www.dontfretbaby.tumblr.com)!

Friday. Friday. Gotta get down on Friday.

Chris was thankful no one was in his classroom while he was humming that terrible song. It was Friday and Chris couldn't have been more relieved.

First, he had his first round of teacher evaluations with the principal. Apparently a parent had called to complain that Chris was giving his son too much homework, that he didn’t have time to focus on his junior soccer league.

Yes, because a 7-year-old should focus on becoming the next David Beckham and not the _fantastic_ lesson his English teacher spent two weeks preparing for. The “Fun with Homophones” game was a hit. That brat should be so lucky. Chris is sure Beckham knows the difference between _threw_ a soccer ball and _through_ a soccer ball.

Then, there was the applesauce incident. It still pained Chris to think about. His new briefcase will never be the same, thanks to Victor Vomitosaurus. Add that to completing his normal lesson plans, preparing for the dreadful parent-teacher conferences and planning his big class field trip next month, the week had seemed to drag on, and on, and on.

Finally, it was over and he had left school a little after five and picked up some Chinese takeout for himself and his roommate and the person who helped him survive high school - Melissa.

"Christopher, my love, you have graced us with your presence." Melissa said from their _(probably too small to be a loveseat)_ loveseat.

He leaned over to air kiss her cheek before setting the food on the table. They stayed on the couch well after they finished their food and Chris didn't get up until he had to go to the bathroom.

After he was done, he glanced at his cell phone and was surprised that it was almost 9 p.m. Chris had promised Melissa, who had promised their mutual friend Nikki, that they would go out with her tonight.

"Alright Mel, time to get pretty!" Chris pulled her from her spot on the couch as she moaned and whined her way to the bathroom.

Since moving to San Francisco, he had not really experienced the LGBT party scene. One would think that an openly gay man in this city would have engulfed himself in the culture, but Chris had been timid because of his job. The last thing he needed was pictures surfacing on Facebook of his drunken antics. Parents would have a field day.

He walked into the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of white wine and two glasses and headed into their shared bathroom. "Here. This should help."

Melissa sighed in relief and poured herself a glass to the top and gulped it down quickly. "Thanks. I'm definitely going to need more of this." She began curling her hair while Chris refilled her glass then filled his own. "I hope there's a hot guy there tonight for you."

"For me? Oh, no. I don't need a boyfriend. Last thing I need right now." Chris' last relationship cemented that fact. Just the thought of his ex-boyfriend Wade made his skin crawl still to this day.

"Chris, you need to get laid." This was typical Melissa. Sex. Sex. And more - you guessed it - sex.

He let out a fake laugh that also could have double as a gasp of shock. "You should like my mother and Hannah."

"No hunny. Your family wants to get married. I want you to get laid. Hardly the same thing." Melissa said as she took a step back from the mirror to take in her look. Chris just rolled his eyes and headed to his room to select an outfit.  He knew how this went, but this would be the first time he’d be going without a boyfriend.

Melissa did have a point, though. He hadn't been with someone in half a year. Maybe it was time to put in some effort and get himself out there.

Or not.

Chris decided on a simple black shirt and jeans, paired with a studded black blazer to add some sparkle. Just as he grabbed some black boots from the closet, there was a knock at the door. "I got it," Melissa yelled.

"Hey, you guys ready?" He heard Nikki ask as the door opened.

"I'm almost done!" Chris yelled back as he bent over to tie his boots. He quickly grabbed his wallet and put it in his back pocket as he reached for his keys and walked out of his bedroom. "Alright. I'm ready." Chris said, looking down at his phone to turn off all his alarms. He will definitely be sleeping in tomorrow. He didn't look up until he heard his friends whistle. Chris smiled a little at the strange expression his friends were giving him. "What?"

Nikki put her hand on her hip before saying, "Damn, Colfer. You clean up nice."

"Yeah, you are hot, Chris." Melissa said playfully.

He was never good at taking compliments. He just rolled his eyes and put his phone in his jacket pocket. "Oh please, lets go." He led the way as his friends continued to make cat calls.

They had been at the club for almost an hour and Nikki and Melissa were completely smashed. The perks of being straight girls at a gay bar. Good music. Free drinks. And the endless amount of guys complimenting them. They were all dancing together out on the dance floor when Nikki had to go to the bathroom and Melissa volunteered to tag along.

It's a girl thing.

Chris kept dancing and soon after the girls left he was surprised to feel a hand wrap around his waist and pull him to their stocky chest. He turned around and smiled at the very attractive blonde in front of him. He was shorter than Chris, but still good looking. Forcing himself out of his comfort zone, he relaxed and just simply danced. The song ended and he was getting thirsty so he smiled again at the man and took his hands off to his waist to walk away. But when he took a step, he forced Chris back to his chest.

"Thanks for the dance, really." Chris put his hand on the blonde's shoulders to push him away.

“Don’t fight it. You know you want it,” the blonde slurred after he kissed Chris’ neck.

This guy obviously wasn’t taking no for an answer.

This encounter was the perfect reminder to why he'd rather spend a Friday night with a Golden Girls marathon.

Chris jumped when he felt another warm arm wrap around his waist from behind, easily pulling him out the blonde's arms, and into the chest of a very solid man. Where the hell were Nikki and Melissa? He took a couple deep breaths before looking up to see who had rescued him. His eyes widened when he saw Mr. Criss.

Could this night get any worse?

"You have a little trouble understanding the word no?" Darren yelled over the music. "Because if you do, I can teach it to you."

The guy held up his hands in defense, "I don't want any trouble, man. He never said no."

It took everything in Chris not to lunge and slap this guy. How disrespectful. But instead, he focused on how Darren's hand was still on his lower back. "Did he need to? Did you not feel him trying to push you away?” Darren took another step closer. "As his boyfriend, I'm pretty much obligated to teach you some club etiquette."

Boyfriend? Was this a dream? Chris is definitely dreaming. Why were Melissa and Nikki  _still_ in the fucking bathroom?

The blonde looked up at Chris and sighed. "I'm sorry I was a jerk. You two enjoy the rest of your night." He said before walking, or better yet, running away. Chris didn't know if he should laugh, cry or run away as well. This was the most embarrassed he had been in a while, and that was saying a lot.

Darren finally removed his hand from his lower back and Chris felt something in his heart rip away.

"You alright? He didn't hurt you did he?" Darren asked, with concern then placed his hand on Chris' shoulder.

"No, I'm fine. Thank you." Chris slid his hand over Darren's and removed it from his skin. His touch was strange. It was making him feel ridiculously self-conscious, yet giddy, and tingly all over. The feeling suffocated him, yet he also enjoyed it.

"Come on, let's go sit down." He put his hand back on the small of his back, sending a current through Chris’ body as they walked two open stools at the bar. Chris was struggling to make a straight face as his already rapid heartbeat accelerated.  "So, are you here alone?"

"No, I'm here with some friends. They went to the bathroom." Chris explained. Finally feeling stable from the whole ordeal, Chris thought to ask, “What are you doing here?

Darren shook his head. "Uh.. I'm here with some friends. It's my friend's boyfriend's birthday."

 _Duh Colfer._ Just when he thought this couldn't get even more embarrassing. Why else would a gorgeous, strong, and successful man be in a gay bar on a Friday night?

"Mr. Criss. I really -" He started before he was cut off.

"Please no more of that Mr. Criss shit. Makes me feel old. Call me Darren," He said with a friendly smile.

"Darren," he said with a light smile, "I really want to thank you. I definitely owe you one and when I find an appropriate way to pay you back because I do teach your daughter, I will do so. But I should really find my friends."

Chris made a huge mistake by looking into Darren's eyes, warm, wanting and filled with curiosity, it made him slightly weak in the knees. "Oh, right. They are probably looking for you. But uh, for you to owe me I think I should at least know your name Mr. Colfer."

He's not flirting. He's not flirting. He's not flirting.

"Christopher. Chris. My name is Chris."

Darren squinted his eyes as if he was studying Chris. "That name fits you. I like it."

Chris stood up and about melted when Darren stood up politely too. "I suppose I'll see you around school then?" Darren asked.

He doesn't look hopeful. He doesn't look hopeful. He doesn't look hopeful.

"Bye, Darren," he nodded and the moment he turned around he saw Melissa and Nikki stumble out of the bathroom. He wanted to be pissed that they left him alone for so long, which resulted in him completely looking like an idiot in front of the father of one of his students.

Instead, he couldn’t stop smiling.

*

It had been a couple of weeks since the club incident and Darren had only run into Chris a couple times after that because Julia was back in town and they were back to a regular schedule. Now, it was Easter weekend and Julia was in New York working on her latest documentary so it was father and daughter time, which he loved. What he didn't love was grocery shopping, but he didn’t want to hear Julia’s mouth about ordering in every night.

"What else does the list say we need?" Darren asked Kennedy as he pushed the shopping cart down the cereal aisle.

"Ice cream and candy," she replied as she scanned the shopping list in her hands from her seat in the cart. Darren stopped moving and looked down at his daughter.

"No it doesn't. Let me see," he said angling the list so he could read it. "I knew it. Your mother would never write something unhealthy on here. You trying to get me in trouble, missy?" Darren kissed her forehead and grabbed a box of Cheerios.

Kennedy sighed dramatically. "Oh, come on daddy! Mom's gone for a week. It's just you and me, and I know I won't tell."

Darren tried not to smile. He didn’t want to encourage her sneaky behavior, but she was so much like him that it scared him a bit. "You're right, but this better be between us." They approached the end of the aisle and turned into the next one. "Ok. What do we want? Rocky Road? Or just plain vanilla?"

"Chunky Monkey," Kennedy said without hesitation. She had obviously thought this through.

He shook his head with a chuckle. "You're taking advantage of me, Ken."

She smiled proudly and patted Darren on his arm. "That's what daughters are for."

"Ain't that the truth." He grabbed the ice cream his daughter requested.

"Hey dad! I think that's Mr. Colfer." Kennedy said when Darren returned to the cart.

He immediately turned his attention down the aisle to where his daughter was pointing. A smile graced his lips as his eyes fell on Chris. This was the first time Darren really saw him look relaxed and it tightened all the muscles in his belly. He’s so mind-bogglingly sexy, it took Darren’s breath away. He practically had to pick his jaw up off the floor.

"Dad," Kennedy waved her small hand in front of Darren's face to get his attention. Guess he was staring and silent for quite a while. "Are you okay?” She asked with a giggle.

Darren shook his head and nodded. "Yeah, sorry. Let’s go say hi." He pushed the cart quickly to Chris. "Well, well, well, if it isn't Mr. Colfer." Darren said as their cart was only a couple feet from him. He laughed a little when Chris jumped in surprise.

He turned around and put a hand to his heart to calm himself down.

"Oh. You scared me." He closed his eyes before opening them again. Chris then turned his attention to Kennedy. "Hello Miss Kennedy, how are you?" He adjusted his basket to rest in the crook of his elbows. Is he nervous?

"Hi Mr. Colfer! I'm great, how are you?"  Kennedy said.

Darren could tell Kennedy liked Chris as more than just a teacher, but as a person. She would always come home and talk about what funny things he said or one of his crazy stories he would recite. Kennedy didn't talk about her other teachers. Only Mr. Colfer.

"I am well, thank you," he then turned to Darren. "Hello, Mr. Criss."

Here we go again.

He raised an eyebrow. "Darren, remember?”

"Sorry. How are you _Darren_?" He smiled and hiked his eyebrow as well as if to ask Darren if that was better.

Chris was testing him. It was intriguing. "I can't complain. I'd ask you the same, but the munchkin beat me to it." Darren rubbed the top of his daughter's head and she giggled. "So, what are you doing here on Easter?"

He shrugged and held the chicken pot pie in his hand. "Getting something to eat."

"Oh, no, no, no. This is not going to work. It's Easter, you can't eat," He stepped forward to grab the box from his hand. "a pot pie on Easter. We can't let that happen. Can we, Ken?" Darren turned to his daughter who was already shaking her head.

Chris smiled big, and it hit Darren like a ton of bricks. "Sorry, but it's just me today and I don't want to make an elaborate meal for one person."

"What? Where's your family?" Darren asked softly.

"My parents and sister are spending the break at Disney World and I couldn't make it out because of work, but it's okay though. I don't mind being alone."

A light bulb went off in Darren's head. He paused for a second then leaned down and whispered in his daughter's ear. Kennedy shook her head yes. "You're going to join us today."

"Excuse me?" Chris asked.

"Holidays are not meant to be spent alone. It's just me and Ken today and we'd love to have you. Plus, we're going to have better food than pot pies for sure." Darren winked at him just because he loved to see his cheeks turn red.

Chris stood there silently, tapping his feet, obviously thinking things over. Then, he looked at Kennedy, who was pouting. "Alright."

Darren's eyes lit up. "Yeah?" Chris nodded and laughed at Darren's reaction. "Great. Well, finish up your shopping and we'll meet you at the front of the store so you can follow us to the house, ok?"

He nodded and put the chicken pot pie back in the freezer. "Sounds good. See you soon."

*

Chris followed Darren and Kennedy to their home from the grocery store and after he turned off the ignition, he had to just sit in his car for a second and think about all of the ethical rules he was breaking right now. What he should do is simply drive away and make up some excuse about having an emergency. Instead, he got out of his car and grabbed a bag of groceries to contribute to dinner. Darren handed Kennedy a key, which he assumed was to unlock the front door so he followed his student up the walkway. Kennedy opened the door and led him in the direction of the kitchen.

If Chris thought the outside of the house was incredible, it paled in comparison to the inside. From the modern fireplace, dark marble floors to the shiny baby grand piano, it looked more like a hotel than a home. He never felt so out of place.

“So, where do we start?” Chris said after everything was laid out.

Darren laughed at him and gathered some ingredients. “Just go take a seat. I got this.”

 _A man that can cook?_ Chris tried not to let his surprise show on his face. “I can’t just sit back and let you do everything. Let me help.”

“If you say so. Ken, you want to help us?”

“Yeah!” The little girl exclaimed as she quickly shut off the television and ran into the kitchen. Chris admired her enthusiasm. Even though he tried not to play favoritism, Kennedy was one of his favorite students.

Apparently Darren had a ham already cooking before heading to the grocery store so what was left was the scalloped potatoes, some biscuits and what Kennedy was most excited about - the carrot cake. Chris and Kennedy prepped the biscuits as Darren cooked the potatoes. Chris couldn’t lie. There was something sexy about a man in a kitchen. Darren was adding a pinch of this and a little that to the food and Chris was mesmerized.

*

Darren was mesmerized, too. At this point in his life, he didn’t love anything more than seeing someone connect with his daughter. He hadn’t heard Kennedy laugh this much since he and Julia spilt, which had been really hard on Kennedy, who didn't sleep for a week and constantly cried. It only got worse when Darren moved out of the house. Since Darren and Julia had been friends first, they were still able to function as parents to Kennedy. They still had dinner every night together when he was in town, had family vacations and still fought from time to time. Kennedy slowly adjusted to her new reality, and things returned to normal, as normal as could be in their situation.

Darren’s phone rang, taking him out of staring at Chris and Kennedy. “Hello?” He greeted. “Hey man, one sec.” He put his hand over the bottom of the phone and walked closer to the table. “Mind if I take this call real fast? I’ll be a back in a few minutes.”

“Sure, no problem.” Chris answered after Kennedy nodded.

“Oh, hey sorry,” Darren said before walking out of the room to have a conversation with Joey. “What’s up?”

“I thought you said you were going to be in L.A. this weekend?”

Darren hoped Joey didn’t hear Chris’ voice. The last thing he needed was his best friend on his case. “I’m not. We’re at home.”

“Well who else is there?” Joey asked curiously.

“Hmm, your goddaughter. Remember her? Kennedy?” Darren laughed. He obviously heard Chris. Time to stall.

“Yeah, but who else?” Joey was obviously trying not to laugh. Darren was losing this game.

“Man, you’re nosy. You really want to know?” Darren will regret this. “It’s Kennedy’s teacher.”

“Dar, her teacher? You mentioned him but--”

“Joey, it is not what you think.”

Darren _really_ shouldn’t have said anything.

“Last time we talked about this teacher, you were saying he was hot and I was warning you about the consequences if you decided to act on that attraction.”

Joey was never this logical. Ever.

“Dude, we ran into him at the grocery store and he was going to be all alone today. I couldn’t let that happen on Easter.”

Darren did the right thing. He knows he did the right thing.

No reason to feel guilty.

“So what’s up? Why are you calling me interrupting my time with not only my daughter, but my daughter’s hot teacher?”

*

Dinner was fantastic and Chris was not only talking about the food. His sides were hurting from laughing at Darren’s L.A. stories of pop divas, homeless people and bad food trucks. The later he stayed the less guilty he felt.

“Oh, let me go cut the carrot cake,” Chris left the table and headed toward the kitchen.

He really had a great time tonight.

Much better than chicken pot pie.

Once he finally found a knife, he turned around and jumped back when Darren was standing directly behind him.

“Sorry,” Darren said with a laugh as he took a step back. “I just wanted to know if you needed any help.”

Chris set the knife on the table and turned around to smile at him. “Sure, want to get the plates ready?” Darren smiled and reached in one of the top cabinets.

His shirt lifted up a little revealing his hip. Chris’ thinking shifts quickly to the sounds Darren would make if Chris got both of Darren’s hands in his in a vise-grip above his head, and then let his tongue explore Darren’s mouth.  

_Oh my._

Chris returned his focus to cutting the cake. The night had been perfectly PG and Chris wanted to keep it that way.

“I just wanted to thank you for inviting me over today,” Chris said, after cutting the cake and standing next to Darren. “I really appreciate it. I’ve had so much fun and the food was great. I just think it was really generous and thoughtful of you to let me butt in on your valuable time with your daughter. I imagine you don’t get much time together and I think it was really sweet of you.”

Chris knew he was rambling. He did that when he was nervous.

Don’t be a hot mess, Colfer.

Just when Chris was going to apologize for his inability to stop talking, Darren silenced him with his lips. It surprised Chris, but didn’t stop him from participating. He took it as an opportunity to run his fingers through his light curls, grasping two handfuls. He could worry about the consequences of his actions later and kick himself. He let out a sigh of satisfaction when Darren pressed closer to him, pushing him against the counter.

Chris had never been kissed like this before. He was usually the aggressor, but in this situation, Chris willingly let Darren invade his mouth. Chris also let him trail kisses from the nape of his neck to his shoulders as he inhale a breath.

“I’ve been wanting to do this all day,” Darren mumbled between each kiss.

At this point, everything Darren said and did was intoxicating to Chris. He gave in further to the situation and tilted his head, giving Darren easier access to his neck.

“Daddy! Where’s the cake?” Kennedy yelled from the other room.

The sound of the 7-year-old’s voice snapped Chris into reality. What the hell was he doing?

“I’ll bring her a piece of cake,” Darren whispered against Chris’ lips, causing him to grip the counter even tighter. Darren planted a few featherlight kisses on Chris before putting a piece of cake on a plate and heading back to the dining room.

So much better than chicken pot pie.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops. I wrote again.
> 
> (Can't forget to thank [Stacey](http://www.somethingdarrenish.tumblr.com/) for taking the time to tackle this crazy thing. Owe her a round of fireball shots one day)

_This thing we may have started_

_Intentional or not I_

_Don’t think we saw it coming_

_It’s all adding up to something_

_[Three more bars of something clever that doesn’t suck here]_

_My heartbeat beats me senselessly_

_Why’s everything gotta be so intense with me_

_It’s a long shot…_

Darren knew getting this song finished before his Friday deadline was going to be a long shot.

He crumbled up the loose leaf piece of paper in front of him and put the bundle of failure in the waste basket with all the others.

It had been a long day, all starting with a fight with Julia. No surprise there. Darren loved his best friend. Adored her, really, but they took the mantra of _love hard, fight hard_ to the extreme.

The argument, however, was more of the same. It happened every time Darren had to leave San Fran for work. He took all his guilt and frustration of being ripped away from his daughter out on Julia. She knew how he got and on a good day, she’d let herself be Darren’s punching bag, but not tonight.

_“Kennedy has a spelling bee on Wednesday, do you want me to send you videos or will you be too busy?”_

_“Oh, did you remember her parent-teacher conference in two weeks? Will I be going it alone, again?”_

_“If you hate being away from her so much, then tell your clients to make the six or eight hour drive here for work.”_

Despite all of the personal growth he had developed since becoming a father, he was still _Darren_ and comments like that made him snap. He was still hard as hell on himself, more than Julia ever could be. Darren knew she meant well. Hell, he’s lucky she even talks to him after everything he put her through in the last year.

She wanted the fairy tale and Darren knew she deserved it. She was a kick-ass mom, friend, and person in general, but he couldn’t give it to her, no matter how hard he tried. The guilt he felt for turning her life upside down, not only once, but twice, was a hard pill to swallow. Darren knows she didn’t dream about being twenty-one and pregnant a year before graduating, but they got through it.

Darren did the right thing.

Or so he thought.

He did love her, more than he’s probably loved any person and he loved the little human being they created, but Darren was selfish. He had the perfect girl, perfect family, perfect job and still wasn’t happy.

Darren resented himself for it every second he got.

He was also feeling bitter about Julia’s comments about Chris. Darren’s little cupcake Kennedy had very adorably mentioned her favorite teacher spending Easter Sunday with them the week before. The look on Julia’s face made Darren want to run for cover.

One thing about Darren and Julia’s relationship was that he could never lie to her. It was like she had the ability to dive into his brain and fish out the truths. So, he confessed, everything. Part of him was relieved, really, to have someone to talk to about his feelings. About the kiss and the kisses that followed from the kitchen to Chris’ car. And how now, he hasn’t spoken to him in a over a week and doesn’t know what to say or where to start.

Darren wanted Julia to do what she always did: tell him the right way to handle the situation.

But the biting words of _“is this all part of this new phase you’re going through?”_ was far from it.

Julia said she was cool with Darren exploring his sexuality. She gave him the whole speech of how he should find himself again. Julia _promised_ that they would find the perfect way to explain things to Kennedy if Darren found someone, but he realized it was just an empty promise. It was then he realized that six months after they called it quits, maybe Julia wasn’t over it.

Was he?

Darren looked back at the alarm clock as the ticking deadline approached. His pity party would have to take a backseat to work. The sooner he got this demo done, the sooner he could go home.

*

After all these years, no one made Darren feel normal like Joey. Maybe it was because Joey was so out there, he made Darren seem like Queen Elizabeth. Tonight was no different. Every now and then the boys would get what they described as college drunk, a flashback to their wild youth persay. It normally included too many shots of fireballs and Rumple Minze, an unfiltered amount of giving zero fucks, and passing out on the floor of Darren’s living room or kitchen, depending on if they got the bright idea to cook while drunk.

Right now they were in the unfiltered stage near closing time. Darren had lost track at how many shots he had as he and Joey danced with two blondes to some dubstep mess. As someone who appreciated the art of music, Darren didn’t understand the appeal of this type of music. Where were the lyrics or meaning?

But he had to shake off the little part of his brain that was still sober to focus on being the best fucking wingman in the world. The girl he dancing with was _totally_ his type. She’s one of those girls with shiny hair who wears little black dresses and orders double cherry vodka sours. Darren thinks her name starts with a L - Liz, Laura, Lacey? It was Lacey, Darren remembered when she put her arms around his neck, pushing their bodies closer together.

Darren looked up to see Joey and the other blonde tongue dancing while grinding to the music.

At least one of them would be getting some tonight.

Darren knows he could take Lacey back to his place, but he knows how it will end, him feeling unfulfilled. Sure, he liked the feeling when her nose skimmed past his ear and down his neck, and when she began trailing soft kisses along his shoulder.

But he _loved_ where his mind went from there - to Chris. More specifically, the sounds he made when Darren’s tongue swirled around his neck over and over. His breath hitched at the memory.

“You like it when I do that,” Lacey said in a small, quiet whisper, snapping Darren out of his fantasy.

Thankfully the music stopped and it gave Darren the perfect escape. “I’m going to the bathroom. Be right back,” he yelled to Lacey over the music.

Darren gave “the look” to Joey and Joey mouthed a ‘thank you’ before continuing his overzealous personal display of affection with the blonde.

Darren’s work was done.

*

Entering his apartment, Darren’s thoughts smashed through his brain, battling his drunk, blurry feelings. What he needed to do was take his ass to bed, but what he wanted to do was jerk off to ingrained memories of his night with Chris.

All the little moments after putting Kennedy to bed that he didn’t want to forget. The sweet taste of his sensual lips as they curled in amusement when Darren whispered, “I’m so glad we’re doing this.” How Chris’ eyes became serious and dark when Darren tried to suggest they take things back inside. The way Chris grabbed him by the hips and whipped them around, slamming Darren into car in reply. Darren recalled his kisses being so demanding and he did little to offset that, letting Chris take full advantage. He remembers feeling thankfully for the height difference because he felt Chris’ cock on his belly through his uber tight pants in the backseat of his car.

“Fuck,” Darren mumbled, palming himself. It was then he realized where he was, crouched up against the wall in his living room.

Yep, typical college drunk.

The vibration he then feels surprises him as Darren reaches into his jacket pocket for his buzzing cell phone. It’s an email from Julia that he would’ve normally ignored, except for the subject line piqued his interest.

 

 

> To: Darren Criss
> 
> From: Julia Albain
> 
> Subject: FW: Chaperones needed!
> 
> This trip is during your week with Kennedy. Of course she wants to do option B.
> 
> (I’m sorry for before. I was, you know. Don’t make me regret sending you this).
> 
> Love you,
> 
> \- Jules
> 
>  
> 
> From: ccolfer@sfusd.edu
> 
> To: [Third Grade Parents]
> 
> Subject: Chaperones needed!
> 
> Hello,
> 
> The third grade field trip is in two weeks and we are in the search for chaperones. Your child should’ve taken home a full description on the field trips with a permission slip, which is due next Friday, but just in case it didn’t get into your hands, your child has the option to select which trip they are most interesting in.
> 
>      Option A - The Exploratorium (Teachers: Mrs. Turner, Mr. Webber and Miss Stewart)
> 
> Science & art museum: Hands on teaching of science and technology
> 
> New Pier 15 location
> 
> Meet time: 9:15 a.m.
> 
> Lunch: 12:30 p.m.
> 
> Depart: 2:00 p.m.
> 
>        Option B - San Francisco Palace of Fine Arts (Teachers: Miss Ryan and Mr. Colfer)
> 
> _Cinderella_ production: 50 minute performance + Q &A with cast
> 
> 34th Ave, San Francisco
> 
> Meet time: 9:30 a.m.
> 
> Lunch 12:00 p.m.
> 
> Depart: 1:00 p.m.
> 
> Each student will be required to write a one page essay on a topic that will be announced after the trip. Now we are looking for three parent chaperones for each trip. Please email me back by next Friday if you are interested.
> 
> Hope to hear from you soon,
> 
> Chris Colfer
> 
> _3rd grade English_
> 
> _St. Monica School_

 

Darren couldn’t hide a drunken grin and hit the reply button.

 

 

 

> To: ccolfer@sfusd.edu
> 
> From: Darren Criss
> 
> Subject: RE: Chaperones needed!
> 
> Chris add me to the list for option B. Cinderella is one of my fucking favorites. Kennedy will love it. Look forward to seeing you, again as well. Last time was well… more than a dream, perfectly perfect, a dream is a wish my heart made. That one didn’t really work, but you see what I did there?
> 
> Oh, and for lunch, maybe we can sneak away? I know this place close by. Wait, no, you probably have to stay and you know, supervise. Maybe we can do dinner after, or coffee sometime this week? You like coffee?
> 
> Just let me know.
> 
> Dar

Hitting the send button, Darren immediately drifted into an exhausted sleep.

*

_Up where they walk, up where they run, up where they stay all day in the sun._

Fucking Ariel.

Darren’s first thoughts as his muddled brain struggled to wake up to answer Kennedy’s call, the after effects of college drunk night surfacing. He wasn’t 21 anymore.

_Wanderin’ free, wish I could be part of your-_

“-llo.”

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” Kennedy’s voice served as the perfect morning pick-me-up for Darren as he forced himself to stand up, dusting off the shame, regret, and fireballs of the night before. “Were you napping? I just woke up from mine.”

Darren moved his phone from his ear. 1:05 p.m. Jesus.

“No, babygirl, I wasn’t napping. Uncle Joey just kept me out too late last night.”

“ _Joey_ ,” she said his name with huge sigh. “Why does he always do that?”

“Maybe it’s time you had another talk with him.” Darren reached for some much-needed orange juice and Tylenol. “Is there a reason why you called, Ken, or did you just want to check up on your old man?”

Kennedy burst into a fit of giggles, “You’re not old, dad. But I wanted to tell you about my super-awesome-can’t-wait-for-it field trip! Mommy said she asked you to go. Can you? Can you?”

“Of course I’m coming. Wouldn’t miss it,” Darren croons.

Field trip.

Email.

Chris.

_Fuck._

Darren put his phone down again to look at his email. He had two new unread messages.

“Sweetheart, I’m running late for work. We still on for dinner tomorrow?”

“Yes, daddy. Love you.”

“Love you, Kennedy.” Darren smiled broadly before hanging up. Then, panic took over.

The email - oh no, the email. He couldn’t click on his email icon fast enough. His heart leapt into his mouth as he scrolled to the messages.

 

 

 

> To: Darren Criss
> 
> From:ccolfer@sfusd.edu
> 
> CC: bryan@sfusd.edu
> 
> Subject: Field trip
> 
> Attachment: Cinderella Chaperone Guide
> 
> Mr. Criss,
> 
> Thank you so much for replying so quickly to our request. Miss Ryan and I are thrilled to have parents willing to take time out of their day to help us out! Attached is a more in-depth look at our itinerary and what your duties will be as chaperone. Feel free to contact Miss Ryan or myself for any questions
> 
> See you soon,
> 
> Chris Colfer
> 
> _3rd grade English_
> 
> _St. Monica School_
> 
>  

Darren shuttered, trying to conceal his hurt. The reply was cold and painstakingly professional. He scrolls to the next message.

 

 

 

> To: Darren Criss
> 
> From: chrispcolfer@me.com
> 
> Subject: Personal Email
> 
> Darren,
> 
> I am messaging you back from my personal account because our school email addresses are monitored.
> 
> First, you email how you talk, rushed and unapologetic. I’ve never seen that before. Anyway, I will send you another email regarding the field trip, but what I wanted to talk about was the last time we saw each other.
> 
> That can’t happen again. I acted extremely unprofessional and my behavior cannot be explained.  I deeply apologize for that. First and foremost, I am your daughter’s teacher and while she is my student, I can only have a student-teacher relationship with you. When Kennedy is no longer my student, I would be interested in possibly developing a friendship with you.
> 
> I hope that is acceptable.
> 
> Chris
> 
> (No, I don’t like coffee).

 

It wasn’t the answer he was hoping for. It wasn’t even the answer he was expecting, but it was an answer that gave Darren one thing - hope.

 _Friendship? We’ll see about that_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Like it?](http://dontfretbaby.tumblr.com/post/81594023218/didnt-know-love-chapter-3)!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a huge undertaking so thank you to my beta [Stacey](http://www.somethingdarrenish.tumblr.com/) for taming this monster!
> 
> Hope you all enjoy.

At six in the morning, Chris was in the shower singing about being in his own little corner in his own little chair because he could be whatever he wanted to be.

Today he wanted to be someone who could handle thirty little daredevils for an entire afternoon. He also wanted to be someone who could be in the same room as Darren and not jump his bones.

One step at a time, Colfer.

If Chris was being honest with himself, he found Darren intriguing, more than intriguing, actually, because there were so many things he wanted to know. Was he one of those divorced men going through a midlife crisis? Is that why his marriage ended? Is he even _out_? Maybe he’s just bisexual.

Chris knew these were all valid questions that he could easily find out seeing that Darren appeared to be an open book, but on the other hand, did he really want to know the answers? Whatever Darren’s story was, Chris knew it was labeled with a big, fat D - for drama and that was the last thing he wanted right now.

Following his last relationship, Chris wanted simple. He _needed_ simple, someone with an ordinary job living an ordinary life.

And even though Chris didn’t know him that well, he _knew_ that wasn’t Darren.

*

Getting thirty kids on a school bus without committing a misdemeanor was a struggle, but thankfully, Chris was paired up with physical education teacher and resident ball buster Miss Ryan. She scared the kids shitless and Chris couldn’t be more thankful. Brie was hard as nails and had a zero tolerance for bullshit. She and Chris were kind of the black sheep of the faculty members so they bonded quickly.

“Come on, munchkins,” she yelled as the kids, girls mostly, entered the bus. “You heard Mr. Colfer. Only two of you per seat. Lets get truckin.’”

Chris sat back in the very front seat as Brie took control. He learned very early on in his teaching career that he wasn’t the yell and scream type of educator. His teaching style was extremely hands-off, wanting his students to try new things and to fail or succeed on their own. His colleagues on the other hand, including Miss Ryan, had the more traditional approach.  

“...don’t you want to sit next to me?” Chris heard Darren’s voice before he saw his face. Trying not to twitch nervously against the leather seat, Chris subconsciously ran his fingers through his hair for that extra volume.

When Chris does get a full look at Darren, his palms immediately quivered for so many reasons. Darren wore a grey sweater with a blue collared shirt underneath and light blue jeans. _Holy_ _shit_. His beard. So unruly, almost as untamed as his curls, although they were still a bit damp from a shower. He’s so freaking hot.

“Daddy, I want to sit with my friends,” Chris watched Kennedy give Darren a stern whisper, obviously not wanting the girls in front of her to hear. “Here, sit with Mr. Colfer.” Kennedy pointed at Chris. “Can my daddy sit with you, Mr. Colfer?”

Well, this was awkward.

Too flushed to think correctly, his cheeks heating up, “Sure. O - of course.” Chris couldn’t even recognize his own voice he was so nervous.

It didn’t help his already accelerating heartbeat when Darren looked less than thrilled with the seating arrangements as well. For some reason, unknown to Chris, that hurt, and after ten antagonizing minutes on the bus, inches from each other and not speaking, Chris was ready to claw his eyes out.

Darren’s whisper thankfully broke the silence, “I can tell you’re uncomfortable. I can move.”

“No, no, you’re fine,” Chris swallowed convulsively. This was stupid. Two grown men whispering on a bus because of a silly kiss that meant nothing. “Look, Darren, about what happened --”

Darren eyes Chris suspiciously before interrupting him, “You see, this is not the right place to have this conversation. This is why I suggested us sneaking away for lunch later.”

Chris shakes his head. Darren’s mouth set into a hard line of disappointment.

That look. That face.

Chris was a goner.

“I meant that as I can’t because I don’t want to leave Miss Ryan and the other two chaperones alone with all of the kids.” Chris lied, knowing full and well the real reason was he knew he couldn’t be alone with Darren again.“I am interested in talking, though.”

Darren gave him a warm, enigmatic smile that made Chris feel safe. “Really? Fuck, okay. So, how did you end up in San Fran?”

“Well, I just wanted to get the heck out of Clovis, so I pretty much applied anywhere and everywhere and this was one of the places that made me a good offer,” Chris said. “Plus, my best friend also got a job in the area so I knew I had a guaranteed roommate. Things just kind of fell together.”

And with that the floodgates opened, sort of, and their conversation became effortless. Darren managed to give Chris the CliffsNotes version of his childhood: a Filipino mother, who he adored, a well-respected banker father, and an uber talented brother, whose band had an album that Darren already convinced Chris to buy.

Chris realized quickly Darren was very persistent.

A little more reserved, Chris talked about work and how much he enjoyed teaching. Then, he mentioned briefly his family back at home, conveniently leaving out his sister’s backstory. Darren’s persistency, however, couldn’t be ignored as he tried his darndest to reach, grab and pull little details out of Chris.

“So, do you go to clubs around here often or just the one I saw you at before?” Darren queried.

Chris had all but forgotten about that night and now he wished Darren had, too. “I prefer quieter stuff, usually like working on my writing at home or exploring the city for a hole-in-the-wall bookstores.”

Darren smiled as if he just discovered some big secret, “Well, I’ve lived here most of my life, but I’m always down to find hidden treasures sometime.”

“Well, my friend Nikki is actually having a gallery opening on Saturday I was going to go to, if you wanted to come check it out.”

When Chris self-consciously pulled on a loose seat cushion thread and their fingers brushed, he felt a current zap through him, very much like the last time they touched. Chris cleared his throat, desperately scrambling to retain composure. “But, I’m sure you are busy with work or Kennedy.”

“Actually I -” Darren paused when the bus stopped moving and Brie yelled a piercing _‘listen up!_ ’

 _Thank_ _God_ , Chris thought.

“Now before everyone starts getting up and rushing to the front, we need to set the rules,” Brie projected.  “We are going to leave this bus in an orderly fashion, each row at a time. Everyone follow Mr. Colfer inside and we are going to use our inside voices, understand?”

The kids gave a weary, _‘yes,_ _Miss Ryan,’_ in unison.

Chris nearly leapt at the chance to get away from Darren, climbing over him and making his way inside. As he reached the front desk to check in, Chris bit his lip and stared down at his feet, trying to regain equilibrium.

Too close, _way_ too close.

Thankfully, a herd of kids coming his way pushed thoughts of Darren to the side for the time being. Chris reached in his messager bag for his clipboard. “Quiet. Quiet. Everyone take a seat along the wall while we wait. Remember, inside voices.”

It was ten minutes until showtime when they were finally allowed into the small theatre. Chris was quite proud that his first field trip was going off without a hitch, minus a Darren detour, of course.

“Alright, everyone take a seat.” Chris stood in front of the stage, surveying his little audience. “So for the past few weeks in class, we’ve spent a lot of time talking about fairy tales. Now, for the parents with us, and for Miss Ryan, who wants to explain what a fairy tale actually means?”

A few hands raise, but Chris selects Amelia, who doesn’t usually speak much in his class.

“A fairy tale _always_ starts with once upon a time and there is sometimes a princess, but not always, and the main person in the fairy tale always has a big, like, really big, problem,” she answered.

Not bad.

“Good job, Amelia,” Chris nodded at her. “Now, what are some more things fairy tales have?”

Chris calls on a few more hands as they rattled off some examples they discussed in class. “You guys are giving me great answers, but you are forgetting one thing that is my personal favorite!”

Kennedy was the only person to raise a hand this time. “Fairy tales always have magic,” she smiled a toothless grin as she answered. “Like the fairy godmother in Cinderella.”

“Good job, Kennedy.” His heart melted a little when Darren and Kennedy did some unique handshake after her answer.  “Magic is a big part of a fairy tale, especially this one,” Chris noticed a crew member signalling him, “that we are about to watch right now!”

As the lights went down, the kids cheered as Chris tried to find a seat. Of course, the first one he saw was directly in front of Kennedy and Darren. He slid in next to Brie, trying to go unnoticed. Chris thought he’d succeed until he felt a hot breath on his neck.

“You wanna know my favorite part of a fairy tale?” Darren whispered. Chris sunk deeper in his chair, even though there was nowhere else to go, and gripped the armrest tightly.

Chris turned around slightly to look at him.

Darren cocked his head to one side, biting his lip.

_...oh my._

“What?” Chris blinked rapidly.

Concentrate, Colfer.

“The hot prince charming, duh,” Darren answered like it was the most obvious thing in the word.

Chris snorted. “Enjoy the play, Darren.”

As he turned back around in the chair and focused on the opening scene, he could just feel Darren’s eyes on him.

Chris’ lips twitched to hide his smile.

*

Remember that time Chris thought his first field trip was simply flawless?

Wrong.

Apparently third graders can sit still for a 50 minute performance and a 10 minute question and answer session, but after that, complete chaos.

First, there was breaking up a girl fight that involved hair pulling and trash talk (being called stupid in third grade is like calling someone a bitch in adult life; it always lead to violence). Then, one of his _beloved_ students Victor, formally known as Victor Vomitosaurus, forgot his inhaler, so running from the theatre to the diner across the street for lunch ended with a brief panic attack.

What he was currently dealing with was every teacher’s worst nightmare, an allergic reaction. Of course, the one thing little Emilie’s mother forgot to put on her field trip form was that she was allergic to peanuts. Therefore, after splitting a peanut butter sundae, she started breaking out in hives.

Thankfully, one of the chaperones was a registered nurse so she was able to handle the particulars when the EMTs arrived, but seeing one of his students carried away in an ambulance felt like a teacher fail.

“Chris, go take a break,” Brie said. “Walk the pier or something, I got everything handled here.”

He gazed out at the array of kids and relief coursed through him realizing things had calmed down. Chris whispered a _‘thank_ _you’_ to Brie before sneaking out of the diner and heading toward the pier for a breather.

One of the positives of the day was the fine weather, the afternoon sun shining over the San Francisco Bay. The sound of the water lapping against the rocks reminded Chris why he moved here.

These beautiful moments would have never happened if he had stayed in Clovis.

Despite a hellacious day, he couldn’t deny how lucky he was to be here.  

“Penny for your thoughts?” Chris turned to see a sunglass-wearing Darren, giving a slow, sexy smile.

Chris tried not to smile back, but failed. He couldn’t believe someone as beautiful, successful, kind and caring would be so persistent with him. The way Darren looked at him took his breath away every single time.

“I just needed to take a breath,” he murmured, moving to a nearby bench, hoping Darren would follow.

“Yeah, it’s been a crazy afternoon.” Darren moved quietly to sit next to Chris. “Don’t know how you’ve handled today. This is your life? It’s hard enough dealing with one seven-year-old. You get the joy of dealing with 30 of them. You are my hero, Christopher.”

Chris’ first inclination was to laugh, instead he rolled his eyes, “It’s nothing, really. Just part of the gig.”

Darren snorted with laughter, “Nothing? Chris, you were fantastic today. The way those kid’s eyes lit up listening to you talk or how they laugh at every single joke you made. They adore you. Kennedy, especially. You are her favorite teacher.”

Chris laughed that time. “You are just saying that.”

Darren gave a half salute, “Scouts honor. Kennedy and her friends spent the entire lunch talking about how cool you were.” Darren’s expression softened. “I had to agree with them.”

“Darren,” Chris knows they need to have this conversation, but he just didn’t want to. He knew once words and glances were exchanged, he wouldn’t be able to run away anymore. So, Chris frowned and stared down at his hands.

Ignoring situations sometimes worked.

“Chris,” Darren pushes Chris’ chin up with his thumb, forcing their eyes to meet. Chris flushed scarlet immediately, mentally slapping himself for thinking his immature tactics would work on Darren.

“Why don’t we do this?” Darren proposed, as he pulled out his cell phone and pushed a few buttons. “I just set my timer for fifteen minutes. Until it rings, you are not my daughter’s teacher. We are just two people who obviously are into each other, enjoying this beautiful San Francisco day together. Can you do that for me?” Darren extended his hand, his look sincere.

And for the first time all day, Chris really took a breather and pushed his self-consciousness aside. Chris rested his head on Darren’s shoulder, instantly taking his hand and massaging it. It was one of those little moments from their brief makeout session that he daydreamed about. Chris loved Darren’s hands. He was obviously a guitar player because they had cuts and calluses on them. But even though they were a bit rough, he was so gentle with them. Chris closed his eyes, flashing back to the feeling of them on his lower back.

In this moment, Chris could admit that he was starting to develop feelings for Darren, which was painful to think about, because just six months prior Chris had told himself that feeling the way he did right now was the last thing he wanted.

Why would he throw himself back into that fire all over again?

“Go back to doing that,” Darren’s whisper was hot on Chris’ ear as he realized he had stopped massaging Darren’s hand, carried away in his own thoughts.

All of his suspicions were once again pushed aside as Chris accepted that whatever Darren’s story was, he had some type of feelings for him as well.

Chris went back to massaging his hand when he heard Darren whisper again, “Who hurt you so bad that you are guarded?”

The floodgates were open again, kind of.

He could tell Darren how Wade was his first _everything_ and how he trusted him with his life. Maybe explain how they talked about marriage and kids.

But instead, “My ex and I met in college. We did community theatre together.”

“You were in theatre?” Darren asked, his eyes bright.

“Shh,” Chris pressed his fingers to Darren’s lips. “You talk too much.”

Chris knew if he was going to get through this Darren just needed to let him talk. Darren got the point because he mouthed sorry, removing Chris’ fingers from his lips and placed a kiss on his palm.

Mountain-sized goosebumps formed on Chris’ arm.

Darren couldn’t do that either if Chris was going to open up so he regained control going back to massaging Darren’s hands.

“He and I were in _love_ ,” Chris said those last words bitterly. “But he didn’t really make me feel that spark, you know? For example, he would never, and I mean never, hold my hand.” Chris watched Darren smile, his eyes shifting to their intertwined fingers. “My ex also wasn’t very good at making me feel special. He never complimented me. It’s stupid, probably, but it’s nice to hear those things sometimes.”

Chris knew he was fumbling all over his sentences, but at this point he accepted that he couldn’t look like any more of an idiot than he already had.

When he looked at Darren, he appeared offended. “What?” he murmured. “How in the hell could your boyfriend not tell you how fucking, and I mean this, how incredibly beautiful you are. I mean, have you looked at yourself lately? You’re breathtaking.”

Chris felt his heart almost strangling him as words couldn’t escape from his mouth. Darren had a way – a way with Chris that he couldn’t understand. He glanced up at him and regretted it almost immediately. His eyes were big, curious, and full of hope.

“We broke up when I found out he was cheating on me. Guess he didn’t find me so breathtaking,” Chris didn’t hide his sourness to that reveal. “So, the whole situation forced me to learn the hard way that trust has to be earned. A year ago, even six months ago, I would have never thought he would give me a reason not to trust him.”

“Chris, I can go make you a list about how trustworthy I freaking am,” Darren answered back quickly.

 _He’s_ _missing_ _the_ _point_ , Chis thought.

“I don’t want to get hurt _again_ ,” Chris replied. “You have no idea how much I want to believe you, I really do, but I can’t. You are amazing, but I can’t go back there again. Going back there was so hard for me. I mean, my diet was cheesecake and wine for a good three months. My writing honestly is the only thing that got me through it, and this job.”

Darren squeezed Chris’ hand tighter. “I would love to read some of your stuff sometimes. I’m sure it’s fantastic.”

Chris was sure he gave Darren the deer in the headlights look when he suggested that. His writing was something so sacred. He wouldn’t even let Melissa read what he’s written. He snapped out of his thoughts when he could just feel Darren’s eyes on him, so intense.

“How can I get you to trust me?” Darren sounded defeated and Chris’ heart broke a little. This is not how he wanted the conversation to end, not like this.

Then, something clicked in Chris. Darren was _really_ trying here, being just as, if not more, vulnerable than him. Chris was in control and he found that newly discovered power intoxicating.

“If you are willing to be patient with me, with the full understanding that despite our fifteen minute reprievement, for the next two months, we are in a compromising situation,” he said.

Darren’s lips opened slightly as if he was going to respond, but clearly decided against it, verging forward and lightly brushing his lips against Chris’. He knew Darren was testing the waters, waiting for his approval. That control again sent a current through Chris as he quickly surveyed their surroundings and when it was clear of disapproving eyes, he pressed his lips against Darren’s more firmly than before.

Darren let out a low moan, playfully biting Chris’ lower lip. Meanwhile, Chris did something he’d been dying to do for weeks, running his fingers through his mass of curls. Chris could feel a couple of warm fingers on the skin of his lower back as Darren searched for contact. Somewhere in Chris’ mind, he knew they were in public and could get caught at any moment, but he didn’t care. The sound of the water slamming against the rocks matched their movements as Darren let their foreheads rest against each other, nudging Chris’ nose in the most precious way that made Chris’ knees week.

Sliding his hands on either side of Chris’ face, Darren whispered, “Do you have any clue how heart-stoppingly hot you are?”

Chris bit his lips as his stomach did somersaults.

 _He_ _wants_ _me_ , Chris confirmed to himself.

When Darren goes back to kissing him, Chris groans, feeling the sweet sensation as his insides start to quiver. Their tongues continued dancing when Darren did a figure eight pattern around Chris’ tongue. Chris audibly moaned as his body bowed and convulsed at the touch of his tongue. The feeling of Darren’s tongue stroking the roof of his mouth caused more stifled moans as his whole body began to respond, coming alive.

Chris knew they had to stop because sooner or later, he would be stradling Darren on the bench. No matter how liberal San Francisco may be, he knew that wasn’t going to fly. However, feeling the muscles in Darren’s arm flex as they tightened around him, once again shifted his thoughts back to the moment. Darren’s moans were barely audible, but they were there and Chris wanted nothing more than to pull them out of him.

A beeping noise was becoming more and more audible when Darren pulled away panting, slightly. He tried to ignore it, his middle finger brushing against Chris’ lips. Chris knew they were swollen and he wanted nothing more than for the tinglingly feeling he felt throughout his entire body to continue, but he knew what that beeping noise meant.

“Time’s up, Darren,” he smiled, and so did Darren, tracing Chris’ lips one more time.

“Let me take you to your friend’s gallery opening this weekend,” he requested and Chris immediately knew the answer – no.

No matter how perfect this moment was, no matter how much he wanted desperately to give Darren a chance, the answer as long as he was his daughter’s teacher would always be no.

But, what he said surprised him even, “Yes, yes, you may.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Like it?](http://dontfretbaby.tumblr.com/post/82703589878/didnt-know-love-chapter-4)!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks to [Stacey](http://www.somethingdarrenish.tumblr.com/) for her wonderful editing! Also wanted to say how overwhelmed all the positive feedback on this story has been so far.
> 
> Hope you all continue to enjoy Chris & Darren's journey!

Texting – technology’s way of slowly, but surely, reprogramming the human brain to avoid social interaction. What’s next? Robots.

That’s what Darren figured anyway.

The whole process was silly, actually. The waiting, the etiquette and the rules, smiley or wink face, or _neither, douchebag just use a period_. Either way, it was so informal, too casual and just plain lazy. Social interaction was like breathing to Darren and technology really hindered that. Sure, his ability to rant and rave about a shit ton of topics from why _Cats_ was not the best musical ever to why ‘Avatar: The Last Airbender’ had a target demographic that wasn’t just people his daughter’s age. It got him in trouble sometimes, but where was the fun in playing it safe?

As a textbook extrovert, texting was the fucking enemy.

 _Way to sound like an old man,_ Darren thought.

 Nevertheless, there he was, staring at his cell phone, awaiting the nerve-wracking chime noise. He and Chris had been at this for years, when it had only _technically_ been 77 hours since they last saw each other.

He was about to sneak into one of those beautiful memories he had spent with Chris when his phone chimed.

 

> _Text message from Chris:_
> 
> _The gallery is over in the Financial District on Geary so it is closer to to my place than yours. Shall I just meet you there?_

 

Oh no. Darren’s heart leapt into his mouth. The last thing he wanted was more distance between them. Meeting Chris there meant driving separately, which would result in less conversation, less time to get to know each other and basically zero opportunity for Darren to prove to Chris that he can be trusted.

 

> _Text message to Chris:_
> 
> _Now that I think about it I have an errand over by the Russian Hill area. Didn’t you say you lived by Nob Hill? I can just as easily come and pick you up on the way! No big deal! :)_

 

As he waited for a reply, Darren instantly regretted his overuse of exclamation points. How do youngsters in love do this texting bullshit?

Kennedy isn’t getting a cell phone until she’s 30. It’s official.

The irritating chime noise sounded again.

 

> _Text message from Chris:_
> 
> _Okay, but only if it isn’t too much trouble. I will text you my address tomorrow. See you at 6:30?_
> 
> _Text message to Chris:_
> 
> _You could never be trouble, or could you? :) See you tomorrow, Chris._

 

Darren didn’t bother waiting for a reply back. He had learned very quickly that sending flirty texts to Chris always resulted in no response, which was a minor setback because Darren had a date to plan. Stratch that, the _best motherfucking date in the history of dates_ , to plan, to perfection, with Chris ‘Oh-We’re-Just-Friends’ Colfer.

*

“Robin, I don’t think I can fit that into my schedule next week, I’ll be in Chicago. ” With a cell phone caught somewhere between his ear and shoulder and his hands busy attempting to remove green polish from his fingernails, Darren somehow managed to maintain an adult conversation.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” she hissed on the other end. “Do you want the job or not? I hate telling artists that we have this amazing _hip_ songwriter/producer, yet he never has time for recording sessions!”  

As one of the bigwigs at Capitol Records, it was Robin’s job to book songwriters and producers to work with artists, and since the label is one of the best - if not the best - record companies in the world, industry people would normally sell their soul to get one of these phone calls.

But Darren’s different. No surprise there. Unlike a lot of the producers he's come in contact with over the years, he's been selective about who he's worked with, and as Robin is quick to point out, he's sometimes _too_ selective.

“Who is this new guy you want me to work with anyways?” Darren said angrily, not at Robin necessarily, but at the fact that the fucking nail polish wouldn’t come off his pinky finger. “I zoned out after the word country.”

Robin cleared her throat before saying, “He fits your lengthy artist criteria. He even plays the banjo. You don’t even play the banjo.” Darren made a mental note to have his brother Chuck teach him how to play that particular instrument. “Come on, just one meeting!”

Darren sighed, going through his schedule in his head. Since his career took off, he hadn’t really had enough time, if any, to truly be involved in the Starkid side of things. So when he had a few free days, he booked a trip to see the final leg of one of their new productions.

He missed being able to support this little production company he helped build.

And he _really_ missed his friends.

“I can meet with him Monday morning before my flight,” Darren proposed. “I only have an hour and a half though.”

“Thank you, thank you, _thank you_ ,” Robin gushed. “I promise you will click with this one. Will e-mail you the deets. Nice doing business with you, Mr. Criss.”

He laughed, “Talk to you next week, Mrs. Bevel. Same time, same argument?”

“I wouldn’t miss it.” Darren hung up with the part of the green polish relentlessly intact.

 _Fuck_.

Sporting lime green nail polish on a first date with someone like Chris was the last thing Darren wanted. Chris was sophisticated, smart and sexy, so so sexy and Darren was, well, _Darren_. He wanted to be himself, but he knew how that always ended. So, for only one night, he needed everything to go off without a hitch, and if it did and Chris didn’t run for the hills, then he would let more of his freak flag fly.

The flash on his phone lit up again, and Darren hoped it wasn’t Robin asking for yet another favor.

 

> _Text message from Chris:_
> 
> _Did you make it through my neighborhood okay? Heard there was a oil leak off the freeway._

 

“Motherfucker,” Darren uttered.

He was late, like it was already 6:31 p.m. and he still had a  good fifteen minute drive ahead of him. Quickly eying his outfit one more time, deciding a plaid shirt, blazer, skinny jeans combo was the best he could do, Darren snagged his essentials and whisked out the door.

The new Fitz & the Tantrums record blasted in his car as he made a silent prayer that San Francisco traffic would be kind to him. Thumbs tapping to the beat, he barreled through a red light as he turned onto a side road, hoping a short cut would minimize his time.

Darren had finally gotten to the point in his career where he could listen to a song he’d written or produced and not feel uncomfortable. His chest actually puffed out now when a song would come on, especially in places like the grocery store, whenever he would hear someone mumble, _“I really like this song.”_ A sense of pride would flush through him then.

Darren let his GPS lead the way as he pulled in front of an apartment complex. After putting in an access code Chris had given him beforehand, he fiddled with the button of his blazer. He took a deep cleansing breath, texting Chris he had arrived. The nervous wave instantly passed when he saw Chris walking toward his car.

His insides melted and unfurled and he was fully aware of the ridiculously wide-mouthed grin on his face. How was it possible for a man to look so stiflingly hot in just a baby blue shirt and brown leather jacket?

“Hi,” he breathed, his mouth dry, when Chris got into his car.

When Chris opened his mouth to speak, Darren couldn’t stop his mouth swooping forward, meeting his lips with a lush kiss. For a moment their teeth clashed, then Chris granted Darren’s tongue permission into his mouth. Like fireworks, lust exploded from Darren’s fingertips to his toes. He plummeted deeper when Chris kissed him back, matching his intensity. Darren broke the kiss when his left foot slammed on the acceleration. They both laughed, still panting from the kiss.

“Hi to you, too,” Chris purred.

Darren beamed at him, leaning in for one last kiss before settling back into the driver’s seat. He could see Chris’ closed mouth smile out of the corner of his eye as he put the car in drive.

After a few moments with the only sound in the car being music, Darren saw Chris reach for the volume button.

“Who sings this?” he inquired. “They are really good.”

“Oh, man, you’ve never heard of Fitz and the Tantrums?” Darren asked, then Chris shook his head. “They are this incredible band out of L.A., very neo-soul, indie pop style. They are also some of the coolest people ever.”

“You’ve met them?” Chris croaked.

Darren turned to smile his way, “Totally. Their main producer is actually someone who mentored me when I first got to California.”

“Have you ever–?”

“I worked with them earlier this year,” Darren interrupted. “Actually helped write the song you are currently fawning over.”

Darren’s grin dropped when Chris said, “Oh, then, in that case, I hate it.”

It was so easy to flirt with Chris. He made it easy for him, actually. Before he could make a killer comeback, Chris had his hand that wasn’t on the steering wheel in his, massaging his fingers and palm. Darren wondered if Chris even knew he was doing it at this point because his eyes were focused on road, swaying back and forward to the song.

_Oh, what a lovely day, breakin’ the chains of love. I’m hoping that you won’t find a new love, ‘cause I know that baby you’re mine._

*

Like texting, Darren also had a philosophy about open bars. They were a fantastic concept, ideal for award shows, weddings, or funerals, for that matter. However, tonight Drunk Darren could not, under no circumstances, make a guest appearance. So, he nursed his second plastic cup of some cheap boxed wine as he and Chris shuffled like cattle from art piece to art piece.

Darren already had his first encounter with the artist, Nikki, who Chris described, kind of passive aggressively, as his only other friend in the city. Darren found that sickeningly sad, because more people should know what an extraordinary person Chris was. He also met Melissa, his self-proclaimed ‘bestie.’

Nikki was _very_ San Fran, overly artsy and viewing the world in her own unique way that Melissa and Chris probably didn’t understand half the time. Very much like himself, Darren thought. Melissa came off instantly as the protective big sister to Chris. Darren could tell just by her body language, adjusting Chris’ jacket and reaching to fix his hair that Darren probably messed up while in the car. Then, there was Chris, the logical one keeping them all together. Both girls seemed nice toward him, but that wasn’t enough. Darren needed to completely win them over by the end of the night.

At the same time, Darren was too busy, at the moment, listening to Chris rattle on about each work of art.

“I was actually with her when she took this photo,” Chris said, softly. “It’s a Sutro Bath near the Golden Gate Bridge. They have these unbelievable tunnels. This one right here is actually one of the haunted ones, allegedly that is.”

That piqued Darren’s interest, “Like ghosts and shit?”

Nudging Darren’s shoulder, Chris said, “Of course. Oh, and a little trivia for you. This is the only Sutro Bath to be featured in a movie that wasn’t a documentary. It came out in the ‘50s. Don Siegel, who did _Dirty Harry_ , directed it.”

“Oh, Clint Eastwood,” Darren sighed. “What I wouldn’t do to sit down with that man.”

“Who else is on this list of yours?” Chris inquired.

“Oh shit, well, Alan Menken is definitely up there,” Darren beamed when Chris nodded, recognizing the name. “I would totally have multiple fanboy moments around that guy.”

Chris tossed back the rest of his wine, which was, if Darren was counting correctly, his fourth cup since they arrive roughly thirty minutes ago, and said, “I’m surprised J.K. Rowling wasn’t your first choice.”

This man is fucking perfect. “She is a genius and a goddess. Are you a Harry Potter fan?”

Chris’ eyes crinkled. “It was my favorite book growing up. It’s a running joke with Melissa and I that we go to the Church of J.K. Rowling.”

The image made Darren laugh out loud. “I’d be willing to join that congregation.”

“I’m sure I can get Pastor McGonagall to let you in,” Chris said, moving to the final photograph. “This one is my favorite.” Darren felt Chris pull him down onto a little bench in front of the photo. Simultaneously, his mind shifted to the day on the dock. He and Chris had a pretty good track record for benches, but he knew too many people were around them to enjoy it this time.

Darren felt Chris’s hand reach for his and he rubbed it gently like before. Chris’ smooth hands grazed Darren’s calloused fingers, relaxing them. Everything about this just felt right, but Darren’s thoughts went back to reasons behind Chris’ deal with his hands.

Whoever this guy was that hurt him deserved the Cruciatus Curse put on him.

“Mmm, that feels good,” Darren said into Chris’ ear.

Chris looked up at Darren and smiled before turning his attention back to the image in front of them. “Can you guess why this is my favorite?”

Darren altered his focus to the picture and he realized it was the only black and white photo in the entire room. The image of a kite in the air overlooking the Golden Gate Bridge was beautiful, but eventually he spotted what Chris was referring to, “Is that you in the far corner over there flying the kite?”

His laugh was infectious, “And, we have a winner.” Darren turned at the right time to see a rare glimpse of carefree Chris smiling, revealing his teeth. “We took this picture my first day in San Francisco, a.k.a. the best day of my life.” The look in his eyes, lost, sad even, told Darren there was more to what he was saying. He didn’t pry though. Darren knew in time he wouldn’t have to.

“I’m going to the restroom,” Chris removed his hand as a whimper escaped from Darren’s lips. “Don’t go running off.”

Darren gave him a reassuring smile back. Once Chris was out of view though, Darren heard his heart pounding at a frantic tempo. Darren always fell fast, didn’t matter if it was an idea or a friendship or in a relationship. He repeatedly dove headfirst into any new situation that made him feel like _this_. The date had been going perfectly so far. His mouth hadn’t gotten him in any trouble. Thankfully, he had a second to regroup his emotions before they overflowed.

But that was a short-lived joy.

“Oh, you are finally alone,” Darren heard a raspy voice to his right.

Then, he was surrounded. Melissa on his left, Nikki on his right. No room to breath.

“So, I’m just going to just come out and say it, you are, like, totally gay right?” Nikki interrelated.

Yep, definitely no room to fucking breath.

“Completely,” Darren choked out. He thought that was better than the answer he normally gave now about not being attached to a gender, but more of a person. That wasn’t what they wanted to hear.

Melissa grinned, “So, we like you. We think you’re really good for Chris.”

“So much better than that other loser,” Nikki replied back. Darren didn’t miss the raised eyebrow Melissa gave her at the mention of the _other_.

“So I passed the best friend test?” Darren asked.

“You passed that test when you showed up tonight,” Melissa said. “Chris never, ever, lets us meet the guys he is talking to. It took me three months to meet Wade. It only took you a few weeks.”

Wade. Darren hissed at the name. What a douchebag name.

Nikki turned Darren to face her. “That guy really made our baby boy’s life hell. You are nothing like him, praise Jesus. With that said, you are also more put together than I pictured, especially after we watched those YouTube videos.”

“Nikki!” Melissa murmured.

_Oh, shit._

Darren’s breathing changed as his heartbeat picked up again. Of course, Chris looked him up before the date. He wasn’t stupid. _Fuck_. Darren wondered what he saw or even worse how much he saw. No wonder Chris made that Rowling comment. He knew.

“What videos did you see?”

Melissa sighed, “Well, not a lot, actually. We–”

“Where Zac Efron was a horcrux,” Nikki interrupted her. “That’s where we stopped. I was busting at the seams at that one.”

Despite feeling flushed, Darren tried to think of the positives – at least they didn’t make it the sequel and Darren hoped Chris never saw the trainwreck, which was the third show. The thing was he’s far from embarrassed about his early Starkid days. He’s proud of it. Those days helped prepare him for his career now. But, they were young, and high, most of the time while doing that show so he always preferred explaining the idea to people before they actually saw it. He can only imagine what someone like Chris thought of them.

Darren felt a bit exposed, like Chris knew this big secret about his past, while he floated aimlessly, looking for little glimpses into who Chris was.

What if he hated it and thought it was the most ridiculous thing he’s seen?

“Hope you girls aren’t telling too many embarrassing stories. I’d like him to buy me dinner first,” Chris said, returning to the conversation.

“No, we were just talking–” Nikki started saying, before Melissa kicked her leg.

“We wouldn’t do such a thing,” Melissa promised. “Well, we don’t want to ruin this lovely date you two are on. Darren, it was so nice to finally meet you.”

“Thanks for coming, guys. I really appreciate it,” Nikki said before Melissa dragged her away.

Chris looked as if he stepped into an awkward situation, but smiled brightly at Darren, thankfully, ignoring it. “Speaking of dinner, I’m starving. Shall we eat?”

Darren nodded, wide eyed, his heart bouncing off his ribs. He just needed to get through the rest of this date without giving Chris any indicating that the _goofy_ guy who was in those videos he saw was far from who he was today.

*

The drive to the restaurant, which Darren selected beforehand, consisted of Darren actively listening to Chris recall his bad teaching experiences so far. He had never witnessed Chris be so forthcoming. Darren was pretty certain the cups of wine at the gallery had something to do with his behavior, not that Darren was complaining. If cheap wine made Chris tell Darren all his secrets, then so be it.

But somewhere between Mountain Lake and Chris’ story about the girl who got gum stuck in her hair, Darren was lost. How could he be lost in a city that he knows like the back of his hand? Beats him, but he made an attempt to play it cool, even though they were already twenty-five minutes late for their reservation.

“Darren, I think we may be a bit lost,” Chris said. “We've passed that old lady slowly walking with her laundry about twice already.”

Well, that demolished any hope of it going unnoticed.

“Oh, really?” Darren laughed nervously. “Guess I just got caught up in your story. We’re almost there. Now, how did you get the gum out again?”

He hoped Chris talking would give him time to regroup and figure out where the hell he was. Now thirty-five minutes late, they finally rolled into the valet line at the sushi restaurant.

“Oh, finally. Thought we'd never get here,” Chris deadpanned.

Darren tried to pull back the crushed look on his face as he watched Chris get out of the car. He soon did the same, handing his keys to the valet and walking inside.

“We’re a little late, but we have a reservation under Darren Criss,” he said when they reached the hostess table.

“You didn’t tell me you made a reservation,” Chris said in a hushed tone. “We could’ve left earlier.”

Darren turned to see Chris’ pupils widened. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

“Uh, Mr. Criss, we actually gave away your table about ten minutes ago, but we can have you seated in about fifteen minutes?” The hostess said shortly after.

 _Fuck_.

“Sure, that’s fine.” Darren said in defeat.

Darren didn’t have time to wallow in his own self-pity as Julia’s ringtone sounded under noise of the restaurant. Why would she be calling? She knows he’s out with – Kennedy.

“I’m so sorry, I have to take this. It’s Kennedy’s mom. Something could be wrong.” Darren rushed in one breath.

“Oh, of course. I’ll wait here for our table. You go, _go_.” Chris replied.

With a half-smile, Darren booked it outside where it was a little less noisy and answered. “Jules, what’s up? Everything okay?”

The screeching he heard on the other end made his stomach turn. He knew that cry of so well. “Dar, I’m so sorry. I know you’re on your date, but she won’t stop screaming.” Julia sounded dog-tired, more than usual, because she was known for stretching herself thin.

“That’s her afraid cry,” Darren answered matter-of-factly. “Is it the dark again? I thought you got her a nightlight.”

“No, she thinks something is in her room,” Julia shouted over the screaming. “And yes, I did get her a nightlight. Thank you very much.”

Darren kept that biting comeback to himself. The last thing he wanted was to start a fight with her. “Okay, that happened when I had her last week. I made her this monster spray thing out of a Freeze bottle. It should be in her –”

“She already told me about that Darren, but you didn't freaking pack it,” Julia butted in. “It’s probably fell out of her bag and is in the back of your car. I keep telling you to buy her a different suitcase that doesn't have that big hole in it. Do I have to do everything? Anyway, where are you? I’ll come get it.”

Can this night get any worst?

“No, I’ll come bring it since it’s _my_ fault.” He couldn't bite his tongue there. “Be there in twenty.”

*

“This will seriously only take one minute,” Darren said, reaching in the backseat for the wanted item. “I’m so sorry, again.”

And for the ‘millionth’ time Chris said, “Darren, it’s fine, honestly. You’re a parent. This happens.”

Darren wanted to kiss him for that, but decided to save that for later. Jogging to the house that was once his home, he fiddled with his keys for a moment before opening the door. A second later, Darren heard Kennedy’s piercing, blubbering tears and he saw silent-tears on Julia’s face as she sat at the bottom of the staircase.

“Thank God, you’re here,” she lunged into Darren’s arms. “I’m sorry I ruined your date. Was Chris upset when you dropped him off?”

Shaking his head, “I didn't drop him off. He’s waiting outside.” Darren walked passed her up to Kennedy’s bedroom.

“You brought him _here_?” Julia patronized. “What were you thinking?”

Then, like clockwork, she gave him that betrayed, peeved look Darren knew so well.

He ridiculed back, “I was thinking I need to get to my daughter as soon as physically possible, Julia. Is that okay with you?”

Ignoring whatever other comment Julia had about his parenting choices, or lack thereof, Darren marched into the line of fire.

And there she was. Puffy-eyed and spent, little Kennedy, sitting Indian-style in front of her bedroom door. Her expression changed from depressed to hopeful when she saw Darren, stumbling into his arms.

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Darren said as her tears turned into weeping cries. When Kennedy was upset about something she cried until she was exhausted and that was the state she was in front him. Bags under her eyes and scarlet cheeks, Darren carried her into her bright purple bedroom and into bed.

“Did you bring it, daddy?” she breathed, her eyes full of tears.

Darren smiled, reaching into her back pocket. “Of course. Now where do you want me to spray?”

“ _Everywhere_ ,” she mumbled, holding one of her pillows tight.

He did what he was told, spraying the all-purpose, handy dandy, monster spray in every corner of her room. Darren knew this would be one of this ridiculous parent moments that he’d bring up to her boyfriend when she was 18 – make that 21.

When it was all said and done, Darren tucked his daughter into bed. “Anything else I can do for you, Miss Kennedy Grace?”

Her glassy irises pulled on Darren’s heartstrings, “Will you sing before you leave, dad?”

Darren got on his knees, leaning onto her bed. He reached for her little hands, smirking at the green polish on her fingertips that matched his. At the end of the day, Darren wasn’t always the best person to work with, or the best date, or the best friend, but he was constantly at the top of his game when it came to his daughter.

 _“Come stop your crying. It will be alright,”_ Darren sang, brushing a lock of her from her cheek. _“Just take my hand. Hold it tight. I will protect you from all around you. I will be here. Don’t you cry.”_

By the time he hit the second chorus of “You’ll Be In My Heart,” Kennedy was out like a light. Kissing her forehead, Darren tiptoed out of her bedroom. However, he froze when he reached the stairs and heard laughter, multiple laughs.

_Oh, no._

His worst nightmare was realized when he reached the bottom of the stairs and saw Chris on the couch with a diet coke in his hand.

“Oh, Dar, I hope it’s alright I invited Mr. Colfer inside,” Julia said walking from the kitchen to the living room. “Couldn't bear the idea of him sitting out in the car forever.”

Darren was livid, his cheeks getting red as he surveyed the situation. What have they been talking about? What has Julia told him?

“Call me, Chris, please,” Chris said, looking adorable as ever, so much so that Darren wanted to scream. How could he be so calm right now?

“Eh – she’s asleep now,” Darren fumbled. “We, uh, better get going.”

Julia sashayed to him, smoothing out his jacket. “Of course. _Date_ _night_.” The way she emphasized those words for some reason made Darren madder.

“Thanks again for the drink,” Chris said politely, walking to the door.

“Don’t be angry with me,” Julia said under his breath to Darren. “Anytime, Chris. See you at parent-teacher conferences next week!”

 _Ugh_. This was humiliating on so many levels.

That feeling continued as he and Chris strolled silently to the car. Darren stared at the wheel, trying to figure out what to say. Should they try doing dinner? Or would Chris just want to go home?

 _He’ll probably want to get as far away from you as possible_ , Darren said to himself.

“Well, this has been an interesting evening,” Chris said low, as if he was saying it to himself. Then he laughed and Darren wanted to cry.

“This isn't funny,” he sighed. “This was our first date and it was _supposed_ to be perfect.”

Chris’ stare changed from joking to serious, “If you think I want perfect, you might as well just drive me home right now.”

Darren was taken aback, “Okay, I’ll take you home.”

The feeling of Chris’ hands on his stopped Darren from starting the car, “Darren, you don’t have to impress me.”

“Oh, yes, I fucking do, and I ruined everything tonight. I mean, I put you in that cringeworthy situation with my ex-wife, dragged you from the restaurant, which we were late for. Your friends probably didn't like me. Not to add, I know you looked me up before this date, so all those preconceived notions you were probably thinking about me being a trainwreck, were right.”

Chris just let him ramble on and part of Darren was thankful for that. Darren knew this would be the last time he saw Chris again until it was involving his daughter so to hell with it. “You don’t take me seriously, and I get it.”

However, instead of hightailing it home, Chris grabbed Darren’s hands, massaging them again. Darren was beginning to think he was using the power of his beautiful hands to his advantage to calm him down or shut him up.

“I do take you seriously,” Chris intoned. “You are probably the greatest dad in the world. I loved how you swept in and saved the day tonight. It was sweet to watch.”

Darren mistakenly looked into Chris’ blue eyes and all he saw was compassion. “I don’t know what gave you this idea that I’m all high and mighty. Yeah, I did find you on YouTube and I loved what I saw. You aren't perfect, far from it, and I like that about you. But, apparently your biggest flaw is you think I’m perfect.”

And now he was floating.

Darren brought Chris’ hands up and kissed them both. “I just really like you and I–”

“And you're worried about messing it up,” Chris finished his thought. “I get it. I really do, but stop worrying.”

His heart swelled as the urge to lunge forward to capture his lips returns, but considering their surroundings and their proximity to Julia, he wisely decided against it. “So, did you want to try dinner again?”

“I have a better idea,” Chris put on his seat belt. “Tonight was supposed to be about me showing you my hidden treasures so why don’t I take you to my favorite place in the city?”

This man really was perfect.

*

“Whoa, it’s so beautiful,” Darren sighed.

Chris’ favorite spot just so happened to be the rooftop of his apartment building. After stopping by Chris’ place for some blankets and cheesecake, Darren stared at the city he loved, his belly full and the beautiful man next to him to share all of it with.

Chris pulled his legs to his chest. “Isn’t it? I come up here a lot to think and to write. It inspires me for some reason.”

“And what exactly is it that you write?” Darren fished.

Chris giggled, laying down on the blanket beneath them. “Isn’t that the million dollar question.”

“Come on,” Darren matched his body language, laying on his side with his head propped up. “Let me in a little.”

“Well, I’ve been writing this children’s book series off and on for a year now,” Chris closed his eyes and it was blatantly obvious to Darren that Chris was really trying here. “Then, I write every day just little things to keep the juices flowing.”

Darren grinned proudly at Chris’ admission, happy that at least one of his date goals had panned through.

He now wanted to work on the other.

Darren pulled the blanket up over their heads and pressed his lips to Chris’, eliciting a small moan from his lips. Darren took that opportunity to slide his tongue in to explore. It was magical until Darren began feeling the effects of their bodies trapped under the blanket. Darren’s hand snaked its around Chris’ waist and squeezed his hips gently, causing him to laugh away from his lips.

“Hey!” Chris shrieked.

Ignoring his protests, Darren’s hand continued to squeeze his hips, his lips working against the sensitive skin on his neck. He knew he was doing something right based on the sound Chris made. Then, his head rolled to the side, granting Darren better access. He moved his mouth to Chris’ ear when an audible moan escaped his lips.

Yep, definitely doing something right.

He continued to suckle the area right below his ear as it was sweltering under the blanket. Darren fought through the discomfort as his teeth took his earlobe between them and gently pulled. Darren smiled against his lips when Chris’ breathing intensified into pants.

His neck – Darren added that to his ‘Things He Adores about Chris’ list.

Darren felt Chris’ jaw clench as he bit his earlobe again, and again.

He made note to add the way his body clenches to that list as well.

Darren’s lips traveled up to the tip of his ear, where he nibbled his cartilage. Chris’ fingers clenched into a fist near Darren’s knee when he moaned out, “ _Darren_.”

And the moaning of his name was then added to the ‘Sexy Things Chris Does’ list.

Suddenly, Chris tore the blanket off of them and tossed it aside with a groan. His aggression took Darren by surprised. And so did the way he tangled his fingers in Darren’s hair, then yanked his face down for a rough kiss.

_Holy shit._

The cold air, mixed with the enticingly hot pools of desire in his belly, caused Darren to claw at the sheet beneath them. Removing his hand from his hip to his face, Darren’s thumb swiped gently back and forth across Chris’ cheek. Darren pulled his lips away so he could just look at him.

And well, he looked…well, he looked hot, really hot. Plus, the way he bit his lips, as his eyes shifted from his eyes to his lips, made Darren lose all sense of self, every atom of his being concentrated on Chris looking at him this way again.

Darren must have been staring at him for a while because Chris giggled, turning red, before pressing his lips against his. Darren decided this time not to close his eyes, watching Chris’ eyelashes rest against his cheeks as he dominated the kiss. It was then that Darren wanted to pinch himself.

How could someone this beautiful be so unbelievably into kissing him? He was so invested in what he was doing. Darren let his eyes flutter shut, losing anything that could be considered coherent behind.

Out of breath, Chris tore his lips off Darren’s and looked up at the sky as he panted with his eyes shut. Darren was thinking on something romantic to say when Chris smiled big.

How was he doing this?

Darren leaned forward, capturing his lips again. When he pulled away, Chris let out a sigh, putting a finger to Darren’s lips and gently grazing the bottom lip with his finger. Every millimeter of Darren’s lips that Chris touched tingled instantly. Darren separated his lips slightly and tenderly took Chris’ finger between his teeth. Chris looked more than pleased as Darren’s hand wrapped around his wrist, keeping his hand near Darren’s mouth as he kissed his finger.

Nibbling his way down to his palm and kissing there before kissing his wrist, Darren asked, “What are you thinking?”

“How much I love your lips, maybe as much as your hands,” Chris purred back, causing Darren to laugh.

Darren let his forehead rest against Chris’ and placed both hands on either side of his face, nudging his nose. “You are remarkable.”

Instead of answering right away, Chris entwined their fingers and kissed Darren’s fingers. “Why doesn't the sun rise on this side of the world?”

“Well, I’m sure it has something to do with the planets. You know, science. Like, space and stuff.” Darren smiled at the laughter that came from Chris.

“After everything I said earlier, you have to know that tonight has been perfect.” Chris’ face changed to a more serious gaze that shook Darren.

Oh, we’re getting serious now?

“Six months ago, I would have never thought I would be here,” Chris’ expression hardened. “And this is probably all the wine talking, but, then I met you, and everything made sense suddenly, but at the same time, it didn’t make sense at all.”

His hand trailed down Darren’s neck and over his chest before he took his hand in his. He took his bottom lip between his teeth as he twisted the ring on Darren’s right hand.

Chris looked so unsure when he said, “May I ask why you and Julia ended things?”

And there it was. The unsaid finally being spoken.

Darren sighed as Chris played with his front curls. “Being a mom changed her. I mean, she is a completely different person now, and I changed, too, after Kennedy was born. So, I guess you can say we grew up, then grew apart.”

Chris blinked as if he’s finding that fact hard to process. _Shit_. Why is this so hard to talk about?

His eyes were dark, lips parted, before he spoke again, “Darren, have you been with a guy before?”

His question made Darren squirm uncomfortably and stare at their knotted fingers. “In college, I was known for being an open opportunist in that category. I’ve done stuff with guys before, but I’ve never been in a relationship with one, if that’s what you are asking.”

Chris frowned and Darren knew he said something wrong.

“Thanks for being honest with me,” Chris whispered, almost coldly, if Darren wasn’t mistaken.

Darren’s heart jumped into his throat as he held his breath. “Chris, I meant what I said earlier. I really, really like you and love spending time with you. I hope what I said didn’t–”

Darren was cut off by Chris planting a soft, wet kiss on his lips. Suddenly, the nature of his kiss changed, no longer soft and admiring, but needy and personal. Chris pushed Darren on his back so he could straddle his waist. Having Chris’ weight on him awakened every muscle in his body. One hand cupped his chin, while the other skimmed over Darren’s body from his chest, to his hip.

He wasn’t sure what his confession did to Chris, but if this was the reaction he was getting, Darren was ready to spill his guts out. Pushing his leg between Darren, Chris raised his knee and grinded against Darren.

Everything was a blur as Chris’ hips swiveled on top of him. Darren's brain turned to mush, while thoughts of fucking Chris hard and fast had begun to surface. Darren was done for.

“Fuck, Chris,” Darren purred when Chris finally detached himself from his lips.

“We should probably cool off,” Chris said against Darren’s lip, giving him one peck before laying next to him.

_No. No._

“No,” Darren begged out loud. “Get back here.” Darren was hard and he knew Chris could see it.

Chris smiled, eyes dazed and warm, “I want to. Oh, how I want to, but isn’t that what the fourth date is for?”

Darren closed his eyes and grinned at the idea because that meant there would be a second and a third somewhere in between. When his eyes flickered open, the sight before him was Chris, his pupils raw and flowing.

How the night went from good to bad to ugly to fucking mind-blowingly fantastic Darren wasn’t sure.

And when Chris kissed him again, he didn’t care.

The only thing he did care about was that Chris still cared about _him_ , and wanted to see him again, despite, or maybe even because of, his imperfections.

He hoped their other dates would go more smoothly than this one, but if they didn't, he was sure that Chris would enjoy the ride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Like it?](http://dontfretbaby.tumblr.com/post/83636209825/didnt-know-love-chapter-5)!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to [Stacey](http://www.somethingdarrenish.tumblr.com/) for taming this beast and for being fab.
> 
> As always, your kind words mean _so much_. Words cannot describe how amazing your feedback has been!

“No! I mean, yeah,” Chris fumbled as he attempted to hide that fact that he couldn’t really grade papers and talk to Darren on the phone at the same time. “I think you look cute either way, but I love your curls. Your curly hair is like one of my favorite things about you.”

Darren had been in Chicago for two days and was already thinking irrationally. Why would he ruin a good head of hair? The fact that he was even considering a haircut made Chris frown.

Darren inhaled sharply, “You shallow, _shallow_ man.”

Chris laughed, “I didn’t say it was my favorite thing about you, just one of. After our last visit, I have a newfound respect for your lips.”

It wasn’t really in Chris’ personality to flirt, but every since the rooftop magic with Darren, he couldn’t help himself, especially when he could hear Darren’s giggle on the other end of the line.

Just adorable.

“What else do you love about me?” Darren was fishing and normally Chris would call him out with a witty retort, but he resisted because, well, he missed him.

“It’s no secret that I love your hands.” Chris put down his red pen and leaned back in his desk chair, closing his eyes to imagine them. “They are so big and manly. Your hair is also up there on the list. I was actually in the shower this morning wondering what shampoo you use to get it so freaking soft.”

When Darren snorted, Chris knew he said too much.

“You were thinking about me while you were in the shower?” Darren asked incredulously.

“No!” Chris laughed to hide his horror. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

Darren laughed harder. “Chris, there is only one way I can take that.”

“Okay, I was rinsing the shampoo out of my hair and–” Chris trailed as Darren’s laughter grew. “There’s no way I can recover from this, is there?”

Sighing heavily, Darren said, “I wish you here right now so I could kiss the embarrassment away.”

“That makes two of us.” Chris gave a sigh of his own.

He knew he should probably get back to work, but the edge in Darren’s voice attracted his attention, when he confessed, “I miss you.”

The simple statement unearthed many feelings that Chris had to get under control. He couldn’t be falling this fast for a guy he went out on one date with. He didn’t really know Darren at all.

Not yet, anyway.

“Darren, I-”

“I know,” he inhaled sharply. “I know. Too fucking much. I’m sorry, man.”

Chris whispered, trying to keep his emotions in check, “It’s not. I miss you too.”

“I’ll be back on Sunday.” Darren’s voice was warm with a trace of excitement.

Relief flooded through Chris, “Well, luck would have it that after parent teacher conferences this week, I am free.”

Oh no.

His heart sunk. He scrambled through his papers looking at the parent meeting schedule and there it was - her name.

Julia A. Criss, Friday 3 p.m.

Chris had purposely scheduled her meeting on the last day to give him plenty to time to prepare himself. Sure, she was completely cordial when she invited him into her home during their date detour, but she was also very passive aggressive.

He cringed, remembering the way she clung to Darren, marking her territory.

“Chris, you there?” Darren asked.

Get yourself together, Colfer.

“Yeah, sorry. Yeah, I’m here.” Chris gasped, unable to finish the sentence. “Speaking of conferences, I should get back to work. Let me know about Sunday?”

“Of course. Good luck!” Darren exclaimed reassuringly.

Chris knew he needed it.

*

In college, the discussion on parent-teacher conferences was a month long ordeal so Chris knew he would be prepared. Being the new teacher on the block only added more stress on wanting to make a good impression.

So, after weeks countless dates with the school copy machine, he was ready with his premade agenda and all his students' portfolios. Chris had memorized the strengths and weaknesses for each of his kids as well, even for the ones he thought finding strengths would be nearly impossible.

As Chris reached the final round of meetings, he had seen no extremely angry parents and thankfully, no pitchforks.

Well, that was until Becky’s mother waltzed into his classroom like she was Suzanne Sugarbaker from _Designing Women_. She just couldn’t understand why her daughter couldn’t use her Dictionary app on spelling quizzes.

Chris didn’t even bother asking why a seven-year-old had a more expensive cell phone than he did.

She was followed by the father of the Owens twins, Jarrod and Brandi. The twins were constant class clowns in his classroom. The recent bubble gum-caught-in-a-girl’s-hair incident was their master plan. Turns out, the twins were adjusting to having newborn siblings, also a set of twins.

No wonder their mother couldn’t make it, poor thing.

Guess since they weren’t getting very much attention at home, Bonnie and Cycle decided to wreak havoc during school hours.

Then, there was Chris’ star pupil Victor who had single-handedly ruined a number of his outfits from his vomiting and panic attack episodes. Come to find out, Victor is allergic to wheat – which basically means the poor kid can’t eat anything. His parents, however, were very kind to offer Chris a free meal at their Italian restaurant for all of his destroyed belongings.

He instantly imagined taking Darren there on a date before he said he couldn't take their offer.

Apparently, the school district was against bribery.

Before Chris had time to comprehend his surroundings, a familiar voice sung his name. “Mr. Colfer!”

It was Kennedy.

And Julia.

And Chris wanted to pull a Victor and throw up.

“Well, hello Miss Kennedy,” Chris said in a higher pitch than normal, his teacher voice. “Don’t you look nice with your yellow headband.”

Kennedy Criss was one fashionable third grader. Chris didn’t know how it was possible for a seven-year-old to be a mini-Blair Waldorf, but there she was.

Then, there _she_ was.

Chris found the fake smile plastered on her face unnerving. “She wanted to pick out a special outfit for tonight. We’re having dinner with her father after this.”

Her – Darren said he wouldn’t be back until Sunday.

“Hmm,” he replied noncommittally. What was her angle? “Shall we get started? Kennedy, there is a station in the back for you to work on while your mom and I talk. Is that okay?”

“Sure,” Kennedy said before skipping away.

At least Chris knew they couldn’t verbally attack each other with Kennedy in the room.

“Mrs. Criss,” Chris said politely. “Have a seat.”

“Please, call me Julia. You’ve been in my home, so I think formalities are unnecessary, don’t you?” She tossed the bangs that weren’t really in her face away again. Chris picked up on it the last time they met as well.

Maybe it was a nervous gesture, Chris thought.

Chris pulled out Kennedy’s portfolio and laid it in front of Julia. “Well, first I would like to say what a pleasure your daughter is in class. She is always offering to read out loud and the first to raise her hand. She is also _very_ involved. I’ve noticed her helping the kids around her, who she sees are struggling, when we do daily assignments. She really is a joy.”

Julia smiled brightly, but it seemed to falter, “Oh, that is good news.”

“Yes, she is also a remarkable writer as well,” Chris continued. “She definitely writes above the third grade level and really knows how to tap into her imagination.”

“Oh, I’m sure she gets that from her father,” Julia gushed.

Another dagger wedged into Chris’ heart with those words. He couldn’t understand why she was taking such ownership of Darren. He was his boy–.

Actually, Darren was nothing to him, officially at least. They hadn’t discussed labels or titles. Therefore, Julia did have the upper hand. Chris realized he had entered this battle without a sai sword.

Reluctantly, his eyes shifted from Julia to the papers in front of him. “I have a little portfolio for you to take home. It’s basically some of her best papers she’s done so far this year. I am asking all parents to sit down with their kid and talk about what assignment they are most proud of and why. It kinds of opens the line of communication.”

“Sure, of course,” Julia acquiesced politely. “Anything else?

Chris wanted to say, _‘other than you flaunting your relationship with Darren in my face?’_ but instead he murmured, “Honestly, no. Like I said, Kennedy is an ideal student so whatever you guys are doing at home seems to be translating perfectly into the classroom.”

This had to end. Chris wanted this to be over, mostly because he wanted to figure out why Darren didn’t tell him he was coming up two days early. Did he even have a right to know?

“Well, before I leave I wanted to speak with you about something.” Julia looked as if she was about to let Chris have it. His knees weakened. “I wanted to let you know that when it comes to you and Darren–”

“I know my actions are completely unprofessional,” Chris interrupted. “You don’t have to tell me how _completely_ wrong it is.”

She blinked rapidly, utterly stunned. She appeared uncertain, even nervous. Then, her eyes softened, looking at Chris as if he were a stray puppy on the highway. Before speaking, she reached across the desk and grabbed Chris’ twitching hand. “That was not what I was going to say.”

“Oh,” he whispered, suddenly uber embarrassed for jumping to that conclusion. Chris wondered if he had completely read her wrong.

“I want to apologize if I gave you the wrong impression and Darren says I do that a lot so I totally know I did,” she laughed. “I just want to be clear that I am very, _very_ , protective of my family and that is what Darren is to me – family. But, despite our situation, I want him to be happy and he would probably get upset that I said this, but he has been so happy since you’ve become his boyfriend.”

A truckload of emotions were drowning Chris as he felt the color drain from his face. Where did this apology come from? What does _‘despite our situation’_ mean? How is she so sweet and nice yet intimidating at the same time?

Oh, and did she say fucking boyfriend?

“I don’t know what to say,” his voice cracked and raw.

Her widespread aquamarine eyes laughed, “You don’t have the say a thing! I like you, Chris. You didn’t ask for my approval. Neither did Darren for that matter, but, just for the record, I approve.” She stood up and slung her purse around her shoulder. “Kennedy, you ready?”

“Yes, mommy.” Chris had almost forgotten she was in the room, he was so overwhelmed.

He shook off any discomfort and said, “I will see you on Monday, Kennedy. Have a great weekend.”

Kennedy waved, “Bye-bye, Mr. Colfer.”

As they left his classroom, the absurdity of what just happened overwhelmed Chris and he swallowed, trying not to sink to the floor and surrender to his overflowing emotions.

What the hell just happened?

*

Chris didn’t hear from Darren on Friday or Saturday.

And by Sunday night he knew it would’ve been pointless for Darren to contact him anyway because Chris didn’t want to talk. He didn’t know what to say. He spent the weekend in bed with his laptop, ignoring all thought and reason.

His head hurt just trying to understand everything Julia said, and deep down he felt...numb.

Meeting with Julia made him realize that he didn’t know Darren at all. For weeks, he’d been in this sweet dream where a future with Darren seemed very possible. Now, all of that had come to a screeching halt, because he couldn't stop thinking that he'd screw it up somehow.

This was always his problem. Not only did Chris live in constant fear that he would make a mistake, but for a man who had a way with words, Chris always had an issue with communication. It got worse when it came to his personal life. Maybe it was because back in Clovis, no one gave a damn about what he thought so he had no experience with expressing himself effectively.

Darren was the complete opposite. He had a problem with overexpressing himself, so much so that it sometimes made Chris uncomfortable.

They were so _different_. It wouldn’t work. It couldn’t work. Chris had accepted that and now had to find a way to tell Darren.

How he would do that, however, was interrupted by the vibration of his cell phone.

 

> _Text message from Darren:_
> 
> _So I somehow found myself at your favorite place. Well, actually I convinced an old lady in your building to let me in. Rooftop?_

A visceral, primeval cry almost escaped Chris, but before he realized what he was doing, he grabbed his coat and lumbered upstairs. When the door to the rooftop shrieked open, everything went into slow motion. Stuffing his hands into his blue jean jacket, Darren looked slumberous, unkempt and utterly beautiful with his curly hair still in tact. Chris gazed numbly at him, debating if he was hallucinating or if Darren was really there.

When Chris finally reached him, with a gentle touch of his hand, Darren stroked his cheek and grinned, “Why the long face?”

“Why are you interested in me, Darren?” Chris asked suddenly, all of his worst fears packaged neatly in one question.

Darren’s mouth pressed into a chastising flat line. “Because you're fucking hot, of course.”

 _Holy hell._ Chris tensed, Darren simply reassuring all of the fears Chris spent the last 48 hours collecting. Darren didn’t take him seriously.

“Hey,” Darren whispered. He put his fingers under Chris’ chin and tilted his head back. “Stop with the frowning.”

“Stop avoiding the question.” Chris sniffed, wiping his nose with the back of his hand in the most unattractive way ever and he couldn’t care less.

“Because you’re breathtaking,” Darren soothed, kissing Chris’ forehead. “You’re so fucking smart and you’re always teaching me things. You’re far from judgmental. I could go on and on, but, where is this coming from?”

“I don’t know what I am to you,” he gasped. Then, Darren pulled him into his arms and wrapped himself around Chris.

They stood, holding each other, reconnecting. Chris tightened his arms around Darren, ignoring his conscience telling him to not start falling again.

“You’re my person,” Darren grinned impishly. “Or, I hope you will be.”

And that was all it took for Chris to start melting, despite his thumping heart.

“I’d like to be,” Chris whispered, holding his breath.

Darren’s eyes were wide, alive with hope and joy when he said, “Then, you are.”

Was it that simple? Chris’ expression was laced with disbelief. Darren had a way of completely changing his way of thinking with one simple sentence and that power over him made Chris nervous, but thrilled him at the same time.

“So, you’re my boyfriend?” The question sounded stupid as it came out of his mouth, but Chris needed to make sure. He didn’t want to be misreading the situation, not again.

He blinked a couple of times and then gave him a shy smile. “When are you going to get it through your thick skull that I like you?”

“Thick skull?”

Darren nodded. “You heard me.”

A myriad of emotions cross Darren’s face, none of which Chris could place, but Chris decided to go with happiness. Then, he grabbed Chris and kissed him swiftly. When he glanced at Chris again, his expression had completely changed.

 _Holy cow._ His eyes burned as desire raced through Chris.

“Let's go to your apartment,” he said, and not as a request.

Chris’ belly clenched, unyielding and compressed, as they ambled to the stairway. They didn’t speak again until Chris opened the door to his apartment. Thankfully, Melissa wasn’t home to add any more pressure to this moment. An unknown sense of confidence flooded through Chris when they reached his bedroom.

He didn’t even have time to have anxiety what about his room looked like, when Darren whispered, “I’ve been _dying_ to kiss you all weekend.”

Chris smiled before pressing his lips securely to Darren’s, walking him back further into the room. Chris broke their kiss, then took a seat on his bed and arched an eyebrow as if to say, _‘Well?’_

He pulled Darren onto his lap, then Darren pressed his lips to Chris’ neck, sucking on his skin. The ceiling became his new view as Chris allowed Darren’s phenomenal mouth roam his skin, sucking greedily and most likely leaving his mark.

“Ooh,” Chris whimpered, arching his back and pushing his body into Darren as he placed his legs firmly on either side of his as Darren straddled his lap.

Then, Darren’s lips assaulted his shoulder as they worked up and down, biting him lightly. Chris didn’t normally like getting marked up because it always looked so noticeable on his pale skin. However, that was the furthest thing from his mind as a small moan escaped his lips when Darren’s breathing deepened.

As he hummed quietly, Darren’s lips vibrated against Chris’ skin and before he knew what was happening, his t-shirt was being pulled over his head and tossed on the floor. Guess Darren was annoyed by his lack of access to his shoulder, Chris thought.

Burying his fingers in Darren’s hair and tugging on his curls, he let out another involuntary moan. Chris gasped when he felt Darren’s lips curve into a smile against his skin.

He shut his eyes tightly, his face pointed up toward the ceiling as Darren’s teeth grazed his skin. Chris instinctively shifted his upper body to the side, allowing him easier access. Chris lost all sense of time as Darren devoured his bare shoulder, all but screaming his name as Darren sucked on his shoulder bone. Then Darren's lips abandoned his shoulder, moving down to Chris’ bicep, fluttering a trial of tiny kisses down his arm.

So gentle. So sweet.

He was back in his sweet dreams of Darren and didn’t want to go back to reality.

“Chris, look at me,” Darren demanded in a low tone.

Forcing his eyes open, Chris looked up at Darren and only his erratic breathing disturbed the silence in the room as he drifted back to Earth.

Darren stared at Chris as he pressed another kiss to Chris’ palm and wrapped his lips around the back of his pointer-finger. Darren wrapped his lips around the tip of his finger before pulling it into his mouth slowly.

Chris breathed heavily, watching his finger disappear inch by inch between Darren’s lips and into his scorching, wet mouth.

“ _Dar_ ,” Chris groaned, disobeying Darren’s wishes and shutting his eyes as his head fell back onto his bed, another moan bypassing his lips.

Darren released his hand, then went back to attaching his lips to Chris’ neck.

Chris whined. He wouldn’t admit it, but he liked Darren taking full control.

“Fu–” Chris breathed as his hands closed down on Darren’s shirt, clutching the fabric and pushing him closer, even though there was nowhere else for him to go.

“Let it out, baby,” Darren mumbled against his neck.

“ _Fuck_ , Darren,” he groaned as the word came out. Then, he felt Darren grip his wrists and yank them from between them to pulling his hands above Chris’ head.

“Damn, you’re so adorable. I just can’t–” Chris interrupted Darren with a wet kiss, taking complete control.

His newfound confidence elevated when something inaudible came from Darren’s lips. Chris’ hips quivered forward at the noise, his hard on scraping against the thick bulge in Darren’s jeans. He was turned on and didn’t care about how fast this was progressing.

Chris was carefree, a rare occurrence, and he hoped to dabble into this feeling more often.

Somehow, while in his own thoughts, Chris let Darren’s hands out of his grip. Darren’s now free hand grazed Chris’ cheek gently before cupping the side of his face as they kissed. His other hand traveled south, the thumb tracing the outline of Chris' cock.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Chris whispered, thinking if Darren wanted to hear him swear, all he had to do was do that over and over again.

And that’s what Darren did again, and again, so much so that Chris knew he was going to lose it. He was going crazy as Darren’s hands fondled him through his jeans, forcing him to scream out his name.

“Shh, baby,” Darren purred against Chris’ shoulder. “Let me show you how much you’re mine.”

Chris nodded, unable to control his breaths. Then, it was apparently a team effort to get Chris out of his jeans, and once that was conquered, the other piece of clothing ended up next to his shirt, on the floor. Chris must have had a vulnerable look at his face, because soon after, Darren pulled his own shirt off and threw it across his room.

Chris enjoyed his new view of Darren’s muscled chest. Darren, on the other hand, obviously had one goal and he made that clear as he instantly got a hold of Chris’ boxer briefs and plucked Chris out.

Following along, Chris turned to his dresser next to them for his lube. Handing it to Darren, Chris started to get a little embarrassed at how almost-empty it was, but Darren stopped all of that, lunging forward to capture his lips. Chris heard the uncapping of the bottle and the sound of the liquid oozing out as they kissed.

When Darren’s hand gripped his cock for the first time, slick and hot, a string of obscenities gushed out of Chris’ mouth. And as Darren jerked him off, Chris couldn't stop words from escaping his mouth.

“Oh…oh, Dar,” Chris moaned before sucking in a sharp breath of air. He had never been this vocal before. He was always too embarrassed to speak in bed, but there was obviously something about Darren and his _incredible_ hands that changed his mind because soon they were moving perfectly in sync.

His own hands were on Darren’s shoulders as he pumped faster, and just when Chris thought it couldn’t feel any better, Darren’s thumb swiped the pre-come off the tip of his cock.

“Don’t stop,” he panted.

Darren obeyed, doing it again, then Chris’ body stiffened. His head was thrown back and his mouth wide open as he closed his eyes. His breathing was erratic and chaotic when he felt himself splinter into a million pieces, coming hard over Darren’s fist. Chris was still panting, trying to control his ragged breath when Darren continued his slow strokes. When he opened his eyes, Darren had his forehead pressed against his.

 _I won’t be the first to speak_ , Chris thought, coming down from his high.

Darren didn’t speak either, instead giving Chris a lazy kiss before laying next to him. After a few seconds, he turned his head to look at Chris.

“That was incredible,” he choked. “You’re–you’re incredible.”

Chris blushed, first, because of the compliment, then because he realized he was completely naked next to this beautiful man beside him.

Darren must’ve noticed. “Let's get under the covers. I’m going to cuddle the shit out of you.”

Way to break the ice, Darren.

Chris laughed as he hustled under his comforter and watched Darren strip down. Unfortunately for Chris, Darren didn’t give him much of a chance to admire his body.

When Darren joined him in bed, Chris leaned in and kissed him passionately, holding his body against his. His kisses grew hungry as he reached for Darren’s cock, trying to return the favor.

But before he could get his fingers completely wrapped around him, Darren halted his hand. “As much as I wanted you to do that, God knows I do, I really just want to lay with you and fall asleep. That okay?”

Chris thought he would be offended by the comment, but instead he found it rather sweet. So, he brought his hands to Darren’s face, giving him one big kiss before positioning his head on Darren’s chest, feeling the warmth when he felt a set of arms wrap around him.

Cuddling against his side, Chris then reached for Darren’s incredible hands, massaging it.

“Glad to know those guitar lessons paid off,” Chris said, feeling complete, loose-limbed and tremendous.

“Violin and piano lessons as well,” he said, placing a kiss on the side of Chris’ head.

Chris cuddled deeper into Darren before saying, “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” Darren whispered.

Chris asked the question that had been on his mind for days, “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back in town on Friday?”

Feeling Darren’s body stiffen, Chris wasn’t sure if he had asked the wrong question.

Was it any of his business?

“I, uh – Honestly, I came back early because I missed Kennedy,” he said. “Being in Chicago with my friends was great, fun even, but at the end of the day all I wanted to do was sing my daughter to sleep. That silly?”

Chris’ heart swelled. “No, not silly at all. It’s sweet.”

“I’m guessing Julia let the cat out of the bag when you met with her?” Darren asked.

“Yeah, we had an _interesting_ conversation to say the least.” Chris cringed almost at the memory of it.

Darren shifted, sitting up a little to look at Chris. “Julia and I – the history, I should explain.”

Oh, no.

“You don’t have to, Darren,” he rushed out. “It’s none of my business.”

Darren pressed his finger against Chris’ lips to silence him. “We’re together now so it is your business.”

Chris sighed, not sure if he wanted to hear what Darren had to say or not.

“Julia and I were best friends in college. We tried dating our junior year and it just wasn’t working. I was going to call it off when she got pregnant,” Darren’s tone altered, becoming more serious. “So, my parents kind of pushed me to propose to her because that was the _right thing to do_ and we got married. Kennedy was born a little before graduation and we moved out here to be close to my parents to help us raise her. I thought I was doing the right thing, y’know?”

Chris wasn’t sure how to answer the question, but he wanted Darren to continue talking so he said, “Of course. You did what you thought was smart for your family.”

“Yeah, well, obviously not so smart,” Darren mumbled. “Being married to Julia for the first few years was exactly like being her best friend. We had fun, but as Kennedy got older and raising her got harder, this is going to sound shitty, but I distanced myself immediately. I kept finding reasons to be in L.A. more and then it got to the point where Jules and I didn’t talk unless it was about Kennedy. I felt– I felt like…”

“You were living with a stranger,” Chris finished his sentence.

“Exactly, like I was living with a stranger,” Darren repeated. “Then, while living out in L.A. I started experimenting more with different things. Like I told you before, I’ve always been an equal opportunist, and when Kennedy was about four, one night I–I met this guy in some club and we hooked up.”

Darren cheated?

Chris tried to hide his shock, not wanting to come off judgmental so he massaged his hand again.

“Cheating on Julia, even if it wasn't sex, was the worst thing I’ve ever done,” he sighed, opening up more to Chris. “I told her, knowing she would leave me, but she didn’t. I told her I thought I was bisexual and, obviously by being married to her, I made a choice. Then, for the next couple years, we tried so hard to make our marriage work, clinging to the idea that we could work it out.”

Chris whispered a _mhmm_ to let him know he was still with him.

“Then, I decided to be honest with myself, really honest, and that meant acknowledging how selfish I was.” Darren paused to look at Chris. “I should warn you that I can be a selfish person sometimes and I was the worst kind of selfish with her. I decided that she deserved better, so much better, than what I could ever give her. So, we ended things, and when we did I promised myself that I would never be that kind of selfish again with anyone I cared about.”

 _And that means with me_ , Chris thought, but didn’t say. This was Darren’s time and he wanted to listen to anything and everything he had to say.

“Chris, you seem like someone I could really care for, and I want you to know that I would never, ever, hurt you like that,” Darren kissed Chris’ hairline. “I would never hurt you like you’ve been hurt before.”

He blinked momentarily, then lifted his hand up to stroke Darren’s cheek. Darren closed his eyes and leaned into his hand, Chris able to admire his beautiful eyelashes for the first time.

Simply gorgeous.

“You don’t have to worry about hurting me. Just _be_ with me, okay?”

Darren laughed as if Chris had said the most ridiculous thing in the world before giving him a light kiss and nuzzling into Chris’ shoulder.

After waiting and guessing, Chris finally had the answers he needed, and realized that they didn’t change a damn thing.

He was with Darren now, and that’s the only reality that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like it? Share your thoughts with me on [tumblr](http://www.dontfretbaby.tumblr.com/).


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I want to apologize for the long wait! If you follow me on [Tumblr](http://dontfretbaby.tumblr.com/) (which you should because I always give writing updates!), you know that I took some time to figure out where I wanted the story to go from here. 
> 
> With that done, we will return to regular updates!
> 
> As always, I want to thank my partner-in-internet crime [Stacey](www.somethingdarrenish.tumblr.com) for beta and all of you lovely readers who continue to support this fic! <3

Darren didn’t know how it happened, but two months after making it official, he and Chris had became _that_ couple.

The couple that were effortlessly connected constantly, from stay-at-home dinners, followed by sleepovers, to whispering sweet nothings to each other, even when they were surrounded by people.

They were seemingly inseparable, and Darren had never been happier.

However, the dynamic changed one week when he had to make a Chicago trip for Starkid-related business, but tonight he was home – to Chris.

With an overnight bag slung over his shoulder, he pushed open the unlocked door to the apartment to find Melissa sprawled on the floor.

“Sup, Daisy.” Melissa got up from her yoga mat to hug him. “That hideous bag has got to go, honey. You need me to give you a drawer in my room since Colfer obviously hasn’t yet?”

Darren rolled his eyes at the nickname, which he hadn’t been called since college, and then at her suggestion.

“Think I’ll stick with my ugly bag, Mel. Where is my man, by the way?”

“You talkin’ bout Chris or that grumpy cat doppelganger you somehow convinced him to adopt?” Melissa pointed to Chris’ bedroom, and returned to her workout.

Darren slowly pushed the door open, sliding a furball that refused to move from its position.

There sat Brian.

Two weeks ago, Darren dragged Chris to a local animal shelter to help him pick out a puppy he wanted to get Kennedy for her upcoming birthday. Darren didn’t walk away with Kennedy’s new pet. Instead, Chris brought home Brian, who was the most unfriendly, yet adorable thing Darren had ever seen.

It wasn’t until Darren sat on the bed that Brian decided to give him the time of day, trotting toward him and purring against his legs.

“Hey, buddy, you want to talk to me today?” Darren cooed, scratching behind his ear in that right spot.

“Don’t you dare turn my feisty killer into a cuddler.”

Darren glanced up to find Chris standing in his closet wearing just a pair of blue briefs and his brown square framed glasses perched on the tip of his nose.

He looked delicious and it took everything in Darren not to palm himself.

“Chris,” Darren’s voice was soft, a little hoarse. “You gotta put on some fucking clothes, man, or I’m going to be forced to break your no-sex rule.”

“It’s not a rule, persay,” Chris protested, slipping on a Michigan Wolverines v-neck that Darren had obviously left behind. “Do you see it that way? As an annoying rule?”

“Of course not,” he paused, taking a shaky breath, watching Chris slip on a pair of pajama pants. Darren _really_ needed to take a moment to gather his thoughts before he pounced on Chris.

He picked up a notebook that laid on the bed next to him, and before he could read a word, Chris snatched it away from him. “Ow! Fuck, paper cut!”

“Shit, I’m sorry.” Chris whispered. “This is, uh, kind of, like my journal. As you can see, I’m a bit overprotective about it.”

“Uh-huh. I see. What do you write in there?” Darren’s eyes follow him as he hides the spiral notebook under a stack of papers on his desk.

“Oh, it’s nothing, just random thoughts and ideas. Some of it is brainstorming. I’d type it on my laptop with all my other stuff, but having a handwritten copy is more personal. I dunno. It’s stupid.”

Darren grabbed one of his fidgeting hands and interlaced their fingers, “Hey, not stupid.”

“So, how was your trip? I missed you.” Chris jumped on the bed, changing the subject.

“It was a productive trip. I think we have the next show planned out. I also ran out of clothes while I was there. Now I know why, seeing as _you_ have all of my clothes.”

Chris laughed, all teeth, shameless and free. “That’s far from accurate. I only have, like, a few of your t-shirts.”

“He says wearing one of my shirts,” Darren mumbled.

“Ha-ha,” Chris smoothed a hand down Darren’s back, then leaned over to kiss his lips softly. “Are you hungry? I can make ya something.”

Darren answered by leaning to meet Chris’ lips again.

“I just want to spend time with you,” he managed to say in between kisses. Darren grabbed onto his wrist and pulling him on the bed with him.

“Did I mention how much I missed you?” Chris whispered.

“I missed you, too.”

Chris carefully swung one of his legs over Darren’s thigh and placed it between his legs, straddling his left thigh. Not breaking the kiss, Darren removed Chris’ glasses and set them on the nightstand.

“I wish I could’ve taken you with me,” Darren told him, hands running up and down the length of his thighs.

“Doubt Brian and I could fit in your suitcase.”

Darren could feel him smile into the kiss.

“Next time I’m bringing your fucking lips with me,” he said when Chris broke off the kiss to nuzzle his nose against his. He then licked a path down Darren’s neck, nipping and sucking at the skin under his jaw.

“Honestly, I wanted to, ugh, to take all of you. I can’t fucking get enough of you,” Darren babbled, not being able to stop his heart from bouncing off his ribs.

Darren was falling, _hard_ , and it was borderline terrifying. He spent the entire trip either talking about Chris, or talking to Chris. Every single word, touch, or thing Chris did made the blood pump in his ears.

This was always how it started though. Darren would fall head over heels for something or someone, ending up with his heart broken and a new song to sing. Yet, this time also felt different somehow.

Darren had never felt more vulnerable in his own skin, which scared the shit out of him, especially since Chris was still less than forthcoming about his own feelings and about whatever had happened in his past.

Sure, Chris let him in every now and then with little tidbits, but Darren wanted more, so much more, and he was starting to wonder if Chris ever would fully let him in.

“Can I take your butt with me, too?” Darren asked, brushing the back of his hand across his cheek. His heartbeat picked up again when Chris leaned into his touch, shutting his eyes.

A smile grew across his features, “As long as I get to keep your ass here, I think you have a deal.

The amount of turned on Darren got with that one sentence was on the verge of humiliating. He tried to shift underneath Chris without him noticing the bulge in his jeans, alternatively Chris took full advantage of the situation and rolled his hips into him.

“You should be grateful I didn’t say your hands, but apparently you need those to work. Chris rested his cheek against Darren’s, scraping his lips over Darren's ear, and then whispering, “Oh, and how would we be able to send dirty text messages.”

A moan bolted from Darren’s lips as he looked up to a tousled and sexy Chris, grinding against him.

“I’ve gotten pretty good at sending those types of messages, right?” Chris asked, taking Darren’s earlobe hostage with his teeth.

Darren’s mind fluttered back to their last texting exchange last night while Chris was grading papers.

The dirty talk, and the pictures, _oh, the fucking pictures_.

Darren grunted at him before jaggedly rolling his hips and flipping Chris over onto his back. He held Chris aggressively with his hands, dominating him. Slamming his lips onto his, Chris panted into his mouth in response.

He wanted so badly to claw his clothes off and find his way inside him, but for now his imagination, and _this_ , would have to do. Darren shifted the thigh that was between his legs, and maneuvered up and down slowly across the outline of his cock.

Right away, Chris tore his lips away from the kiss to wail, “You just… _fuck_.”

A sense of pride coursed through Darren, that he could make Chris feel that way. He kissed the underside of his chin as he thrusted into him harder this time, which resulted in Chris arching up off the bed.

“Baby,” Darren snarled into Chris’ ear before nipping on the lobe, then moving to his neck. He buried his nose there, flickering his tongue back and forth along Chris' collarbone.

Chris hated when Darren marked his skin, but he had been gone for days, and Darren wanted people to know that he was taken, and _his_.

“Fuck--” Chris breathed, his fingers coiling in Darren’s shirt.

Taking that as a sign, Darren chucked it over his head and onto the floor, then returned to his spot on Chris’ neck.

Darren’s hand then went down to Chris’ ass, his first defiant act. He squeezed, keeping him close before he let go.

“ _Ohmygod, Dar_ ,” Chris whimpered, turning marginally to seize his lips again.

“Shit--Chris--” Darren tried to grab a hold of Chris’ hips that were frantically grinding against him.

At this point, Darren was sick of holding back. It had been two months of romance and butterflies, and now he needed more than this.

But, Chris was so special, so different.

_Fuck._

“Stop,” he finally said, the painfully hard part of himself cringing. “Fuck, Chris, I’m…”

_...falling so in love, too fast._

“You’re what?”

“Words cannot describe how much I want--I want you.”

“You seem to be pretty good with your words right now,” Chris teased gently, running his fingers through Darren’s ruffled curls.

Darren was about to respond when a loud meow caught them both by surprise. He turned to see a very unhappy Brian clawing at Darren’s shirt that landed on the floor.

“Brian doesn’t like being ignored.”

Then in one swift move by Chris, Darren was flat on his back with Chris’ weight on him.

Momentarily speechless, he was still hard, and not hiding it at all, extremely pleased with the new position.

“He’ll get over it,” Chris chuckled breathlessly, his hands tugging at Darren’s jeans and unbuttoning them. “‘Cause my boyfriend’s back and I gotta show him how much I missed him.”

Wiggling out of his jeans, Darren bit back a moan as the cool air in the room prickled his skin. That feeling surfaced tenfold when Chris dropped to his knees, pulling his underwear off, freeing him.

The room spun as Chris heaved forward to mouth at Darren’s cock. The image before him made him moan loudly, not concerned that they weren’t alone in the apartment.

Even though Darren didn’t fully know Chris' sexual past, what he did know was that Chris was well-versed at this.

He used his hand as a guide, taking all of Darren in. Chris was always so eager and hot to take him; it was obvious how much Chris enjoyed it by the moans he made around his cock.

“Fuck yeah, suck me, Chris,” Darren gasped for air when Chris squeezed his hips to pull him in closer, letting his cock slide down the back of his throat.

“ _Fucking hell_.”

He had no recollection of seeing anything hotter than Chris’ stretched lips around him sloppily blowing him. Things got even better when Darren cupped the back of his head to control the pace. He almost felt guilty, staring down at Chris’ shut eyes and thin eyelashes on his cheeks as he bobbed his head up and down.

_Beautiful._

“So fucking beautiful, baby,” Darren finished the thought out loud, rolling on the balls of his feet.

Deep down, Darren wanted to hollowly fuck his mouth, but when Chris suckled the head of his cock as precome bubbled, it became a distant memory. He nearly lost it when Chris cupped his balls and a finger grazed his hole.

They hadn’t gotten that far yet, but that simple motion peaked Darren’s interest. When he did it again, Darren barely had time to warn Chris, “Uhhh, I’m close.”

In another surprise to Darren, Chris didn’t pull away. Instead, he sucked harder on his head when Darren jolted, the first shots hitting Chris’ throat.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck,” Darren swore again and again as his entire body jerked when Chris opened his mouth taking the rest of him.

Darren squeezed his eyes shut and his face felt on fire. Chris kissed up his body, up his thighs, stomach, chest then neck. Darren’s breathing was still ragged as he came down from his orgasm.

“God, I missed you so much,” Chris said before kissing Darren.

The tangy taste of his come was on his lips, and it only made Darren deepen it.

Darren could hear his phone ringing from the floor.

“Ignore it,” he told Chris, pressing their lips together.

“You sure?”

Darren licked his lips before saying, “Nothing will ever be more important than us.”

It was sappy and cliche, but Darren didn’t care. He was high on love, lust, and sex.

His phone made a noise, signalling he had a voicemail, and then a few seconds later, it rang again. He sighed when Chris pulled away, reaching to the floor to grab it.

“It’s–it’s Julia.”

Darren whined as Chris stopped straddling him and murmured something under his breath.

These moments were still awkward for both of them.

“‘ello.”

“Hey, can you bring a bottle of wine when you come over?”

Darren facepalmed. “Your parents are in town aren’t they?”

“Yes, Darren,” Julia groaned, plainly miffed. “We had this conversation yesterday, and last week and the week before that. If you weren’t so distracted with–”

She trailed off, but Darren knew what she was going to say. He glanced over at Chris on the floor, waiting patiently and playing with Brian.

He scolded himself for feeling guilty in more ways than one. Not only did he forget about the dinner, but he just can’t stand disappointing Chris.

“Yeah, I’ll be there. See you later.”

He hung up, feeling more naked and vulnerable than before. He threw a blanket over himself when he sat up to look at Chris.

“Dinner with the in-laws, huh?” Chris raised an eyebrow. “Sounds like hell.”

Just when Darren thought he couldn’t be more crazy about a person, Chris smiled at him, standing up and reaching for his curls.

Even when he fucked up and was forgetful, with everyone else against him, there was Chris, supportive as ever. Darren pulled Chris into a kiss that meant something that he wasn’t ready to say.

**

Chris was right.

Dinner with the ex-in-laws was hell.

Julia’s parents were condescending about their separation, and her dad had all but threatened his life.

Thankfully, in front of Kennedy, however, everyone tried to stay on their best behavior.

Darren ended the night in the best way: tucking Kennedy in bed with a _Beauty and the Beast_ duet, and then going back to Chris’ apartment for a different kind of duet.

When he woke up the next morning, Chris wasn't next to him. He ached at his missing presence, but was too exhausted to look for him. So he closed his eyes, trying to drift back to sleep.

Then, he heard a door open, but couldn't will his eyes to open until he a gust of hot air brushed across him.

When he opened his eyes, he instantly regretted not opening them sooner.

Chris was standing just in a towel and it was the ideal way to wake up.

He contemplated getting up and pulling that towel off of him, then he heard the agonizing sound of a hair dyer.

_Fuck._

Darren slammed the pillow next to him against his ear, canceling out the noise. He always regretted staying over during the week because Chris had to wake up early for school. It left him secretly counting down the days until he was on summer vacation.

_One. More. Week._

Once the noise of the dryer was gone, Darren returned to watching Chris get ready. There was a unique method to Chris’ mornings, including the daily internal battle he had against wearing his contacts or glasses. Darren noted that he went with his glasses when they matched his outfit of choice.

It was like Chris transformed into his smart, sexy superhero every morning with his signature button down and vest combo, ready to take on the third grade world with a red pen in hand.

“How long have you been watching me?” Chris’ voice took Darren out of his daydream.

His hands were on his hips and Darren was finding it even harder not to jump out of bed and undo everything Chris just spent putting together.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said with a sleepy grin.

Chris waltzed over putting his hand on either side of Darren’s legs before kissing him. He tasted like mint and cinnamon, and Darren loved every bit of it.

He scooped Chris in his arms, tossing him on the bed next to him. Chris giggled as he climbed over him, ready to attack and devour him with kisses. Chris wrapped an arm around his neck and God, Darren yearned for this feeling.

Darren cupped his ass, catching Chris’ moan in his mouth as his lips vibrated against the kiss.

“C’mon, Darren, I have to go to work.” Chris pushed him again.

“Why don’t we fucking call in sick and stay in your bed all day?”

“No, no, no. Not going to let your beautiful lips distract me this morning.” Chris escaped Darren’s grasp, jumping out of bed. “Are you picking Kennedy up today? Maybe we can grab ice cream after school?”

“Uh, yeah, I am, but she has ballet class or something today, I think. Raincheck?”

“Oh, okay.” He brushed it off.

This wasn’t the first time Chris had suggested spending time with Kennedy and him outside of school. It was something Darren wanted to happen, eventually, but things were still so new. He didn’t want to confuse his daughter either.

Darren wanted to explain all of this to her at the right place, at the right time, and that couldn’t happen until Chris was no longer her teacher.

**

Darren spent an hour embarrassing his daughter at her ballet class.

Apparently dads didn’t normally participate, and his pirouette had gotten a lot worse since college.

So, after a very upset Kennedy kindly told her father that he wasn’t allowed to take her to class anymore, he took his bruised ego to Chris’ to take care of.

No one answered the door at his first few knocks, so he reached for the ledge above the door where the key for “emergency” use only was hidden. He went inside to see no Melissa, but only a happy _(for once)_ Brian, purring at his feet.

Darren picked him up as he cuddled into him. “You finally coming around, huh?”

He heard the shower running and assumed that was where Chris was so he and Brian retreated to the bedroom and plopped down on his bed. A sharp corner poked him as Darren pulled Chris’ notebook from under him. Darren peeked at the door, making sure he still heard water running before he picked it up.

_He did it again. I brought up spending time with him and his daughter and he rejected me...again. It’s hard not to take it personally, but we can only spend so much time locked up in my bedroom. I’ve only stayed at his place once and Melissa keeps telling me how that’s not normal, especially since I’m falling in love with him more and more every day._

_Is he ashamed of me?_

_Is he ashamed of being...gay?_

_These are questions I have that I could never ask him. Things I could never say._

_  
When I do say something, he says, ‘The school year is almost over,’ but can I believe him? The last time I believed someone he_

He what?

“Holy shit!” Chris’s voice rung through the room. “You scared me to death! When did you get here?”

“Oh, uh, just a little while ago,” Darren quickly closed his journal, and hid it under a magazine that was also on the bed.

Chris gave Darren a quizzical look as if he was about to say something, but decided against it and just walked over and gave Darren a wet kiss.

“You are always full of surprises,” Chris said before heading to his closet.

With Chris now out of his eye sight, Darren’s mind raced, thankful that he wasn’t caught reading Chris' journal, but he still couldn't begin to comprehend what he just read.

Chris was falling in love with him, but was pissed at him for not letting him into his life.

Sad thing was, he had valid points, but those points also fucking pissed Darren off.

He just couldn’t understand why Chris wouldn't just talk to him about these feelings instead of jotting them down in some stupid journal – a journal that he shouldn’t have been reading.

It took everything in Darren not to blurt out his own wrongdoing, but that small insecure part of him stopped him.

That part of Darren that no one got a chance to see, the part that Julia saw once and it ultimately ended their marriage - that part of Darren Criss wanted to sneak a few more glances at Chris’s inner thoughts.

But he won’t.

He can’t - he can’t risk fucking this up because, despite his best judgement, Darren was falling helplessly in love, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reblog on tumblr [here](http://dontfretbaby.tumblr.com/post/87218747047/didnt-know-love-chapter-7).


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back in businesses! Excited to hear your thoughts on [Tumblr](http://dontfretbaby.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Also thanks to [Stacey](http://somethingdarrenish.tumblr.com/) for beta work!

Chris despised running late. It made him a flustered mess, sent his emotions ablaze and caused him to turn a shade of burgundy.

Despite these claims, Chris was late, _really_ fucking late, but thankfully his best friend, who he hadn’t really seen in two weeks, didn’t own a watch and lived life an hour behind schedule.

“I’mreallylate,” Chris said, his words tumbling out of his mouth in a rush. “Sorry, the reservation is under Colfer.”

The hostess smiled politely at him. “Okay, let me see if we can get a table open for you.”

Chris nodded, and then took a seat at one of the conveniently placed chairs at the entrance.

He _also _hated being the first one to arrive at the restaurant. It made him nervous, honestly, and the idea of sitting in a booth alone made his skin crawl.__

Just as he got his phone out of his pocket to give Melissa a ring, he heard his name called. Panic flooded him, and chills shot down his spine when he looked up to face... _him_.

“Wade.” His body involuntarily shivered as the name slipped out of his mouth.

Chris struggled to his feet and immediately Wade pulled him into a bear hug, which surprised him. He grew uncomfortable the second he felt him inhaling the scent of his hair.

He wasn’t allowed to do that anymore. He lost that privilege.

Shaking out of his arms, Chris felt his cheeks dimple as he let his eyes take him in. Wade was gorgeous, no doubt about it. With tall, broad shoulders and recently highlighted blonde hair, his post-breakup look was _good._

“How are you doing? It’s been a while since I’ve seen you.”

“Uh, I’m good. Great, actually. Eh, what about you?” Chris asked anxiously, hoping Melissa would soon walk through the door to make the save.

“I’m doing okay. It’s funny I ran into you because I just saw Nikki the other day. She told me you’re dating someone new. Is he meeting you here?”

_Nikki._

Bitch.

“O--oh, no. He’s not--we’re not--Melissa is meeting me.”

Wade laughed. “Of course she’s late. Glad to know some things never change. So, the boyfriend?”

“Yes,” Chris said, relaxing a little. “He’s really great. I’m very happy. He makes me very happy.”

He sighed. “Oh, I see.”

Chris’ mouth was dry, and words couldn’t seem to flow out of his mouth.

What was he supposed to say now?

“Look, Chris, I’ve been meaning to call you. I know I messed up, badly, but I wanted to tell you that I’m not the person you knew before. I’ve changed so much. I miss you.”

Chris felt his emotions shift from nervousness to pure anger. If they weren’t in a public place, Chris knew his hand would be swinging across his face. Over the last few months, he’d dreamt of what exactly he would say, and do, the moment that he saw him again.

This was his chance.

“Wade, you can’t just say things like that to me, okay? You say you’ve changed. Cool. So have I. I’m not the same person I was when we were together. I’m finally in a healthy relationship, with a man that I love.”

“You love him?”

_Did I just say that?_

“Uhh…”

“Hey, boo, sorry I’m late, I got held up at –What are you doing here?”

Melissa’s voice was considered insignificant amongst the billions of questions bouncing around in Chris’ head.

_Fuck._

The L-word had never left his mouth before. Until now, Chris kept it far, _far_ back in the corners of his mind .

“Hello to you, too, Melissa. Glad to know you are as polite as ever.”

_“Table for Co--Codlfer is ready.”_

Chris had never been so grateful for the his name to be mispronounced.

“That’s us.” Melissa linked her arms with Chris’. “Hope you continue to have a horrible day, Wade. Try not to fuck anybody over in the process.”

Walking to their table, Wade became a lost memory as Chris’ fumbled thoughts of l-o-v-e floated in his head. He didn’t even remember what he ordered, let alone what the hell Melissa ranted and raved about.

The only thing on his mind was what he said to Wade.

Love. _Love._ What the hell _was_ love, anyway?

“You’ve been in love, right, Mel?” Chris asked suddenly, cutting Melissa off mid-sentence.

“Uhh, no,” she replied. “Wait, are you _finally_ ready to admit you are completely and utterly in love with Darren? If so, I knew that months ago.”

“What? No, Mel. God, no. Totally not what I was getting at. Just forget I even asked.”

Melissa eyed him incredulously and Chris instantly regretted asking the question, but thankfully she dropped it, going back to whatever she was talking about before.

They made small talk for the remainder of the meal, but Chris noticed Melissa’s sudden scrutiny over each word that fell from his lips. It was like she was just waiting for him to slip up, but he wouldn’t. He _couldn’t._

He needed to get this love shit under control because God forbid he let those three words get out into the universe again.

_Never again._

**

It wasn’t that easy, especially when Darren invited him to stay over at _his_ house a few days after the incident. Chris had been impatiently waiting for this next step, and felt overwhelmed with a love-like feeling because of it.

Darren was finally making Chris feel like a significant part of his life.

He was so, so close, to saying it on the drive back to his house for another sleepover.

Chris really loved their weekends together. Sure, Chris would prefer being out and about with his man, but Darren obviously wasn’t ready for that.

He’d just have to patiently wait some more.

Chris would also have to wait for those precious words to be said. It was a big deal and it needed to happen eventually.

Just not right now.

“You are going to be mindfucked when you taste my pancti. My mom has, like, this secret recipe and it’s to die for. Can’t believe you’ve never had Filipino food.”

Chris dropped the two full grocery bags at the front of his door to reach for his keys. “Look at you, forever teaching me things.”

“Hey, Chris!”

Chris turned to his right to see his neighbor, Taylor. She was the typical California girl: blonde, perky, pretty, and seemingly always wearing a bikini top for no reason.

“Hello, Taylor. How are you?”

The awkward banter between neighbors always made Chris wish that he could live out in the middle of nowhere one day.

“I’m good.” She smiled, walking toward Darren. “Hi, I don’t think we’ve officially, like, met, but I see you all the time. I’m Taylor.”

Chris felt his eyebrows lift toward his hairline.

She can’t be flirting with him.

Ugh, she is.

“Oh, cool. I’m Darren. Guess I am over here a lot.” He laughed in a familiar and endearing way that Chris had discovered was exclusive to him alone.

“Alright, well, I’ll see you around, Taylor,” Chris said quickly, before opening the front door and dragging Darren inside.

“She seems nice. Do y’all hang out a lot?”

Chris almost rolled his eyes at the notion, walking into his kitchen. Did he not know Chris at all to think that he would have _anything_ in common with a girl like Taylor? He had learned very quickly that girls like that just wanted a gay best friend as an accessory.

“Oh, no. We haven’t at all, actually, but she seemed like she was about to jump on top of you so, sure, you can hang out with her some time if you want.”

Chris acknowledged that he was angry for no reason, but he really didn’t care.

“She’s pretty, but she’s not you,” Darren said, pressing a light kiss to Chris’ temple. “Don’t be jealous, babe. It doesn’t suit you.”

“I am not,” Chris snapped. “I’m not jealous. It’s just you--”

His sentence was cut short by Darren hooking a finger into the belt loop of his jeans and pulling him against the fridge.

“I’m yours. Don’t you know that?”

Darren tilted his head to one side and smiled his oh-so-sexy smile. However, Chris was not going to be sidetracked by sex.

But Darren’s dark eyes danced with erotic thoughts and Chris could feel all of his determination and strength slip away.

“C’mon, you two! Not in common areas!”

Melissa’s voice and Nikki’s deep laugh interrupted the moment.

“Don’t you guys fuck like bunnies enough?” Nikki asked, stepping in between them and hugging Darren. “How have you been?”

Chris stepped out of the line of questions and went to fill Brian’s food bowl. He and Nikki were still at odds over her opening her big mouth to Wade. She thought it would make Wade jealous but Chris couldn’t care less what he thought.

However, he did smile when she told him that Wade was still single.

“It’s always good to see you, Nikki. You two joining us for dinner? I’m introducing Chris to Filipino cuisine.”

Chris sighed, hoping the girls had plans.

“Oh fuck yeah, that sounds awesome.” Nikki said.

Melissa cleared her throat. “Darren, that does sound awesome, but we have plans. We’re going to see that one movie, yeah?”

She then sent a wink Chris’ way and he mouthed ‘thank you’ back.

Melissa all but shoved Nikki out the front door in record time and Chris and Darren were alone again, _finally_.

“So, you ready to show me what you got? I’m ready to judge this like Tom Colicchio from _Top Chef_.”

Darren’s mouth upturned and leaned over the kitchen island to kiss him sweetly. “In that case, I’ll be sure to bring my A-game.”

Seeing Darren sashay in his kitchen reminded him of that fateful Easter Sunday that changed everything.

“You excited for the school year to be over next week?”

“Summer is the worst because I get bored after, like, the first week off. Then I start missing my kiddos.”

“Even that one kid who threw up on your new boots?” Darren questioned sarcastically, raising an eyebrow.

Chris giggled. “Yes, even him. I’ll miss having Kennedy in class too. I wish all my kids were like her.”

“Yeah. She’s so fucking smart. Wonder where she gets it from.”

Even though his back was turned away from Chris, he knew that Darren was sporting that proud papa smile he got whenever his daughter’s name was mentioned. Chris never thought he’d be interested in a guy who already had kids (too much baggage), but now he found it one of Darren’s most redeeming qualities.

“Speaking of Ken, her birthday is next Saturday and Julia is planning this big party at the house. You up for coming?”

Chris almost did a spit take, and was glad Darren’s back was still turned so he couldn’t see the gigantic smile on his face.

“Really?”

Darren turned away, leaning against the stove. “Yeah, I think we’re--It would be awesome to have you there. Plus, my parents and friends will be there. It would really mean a lot to me if you could make it out. No pressure though.”

Pressure?

Chris had been _waiting_ for this.

“No, no pressure at all. I’d love to, but is Julia okay with this? I don’t want there to be problems.”

“She’s totally cool with it. So you’ll come?”

Chris felt like performing a quick arabesque, but his slow, beaming smile was probably enough to get the point across.

Maybe summer wouldn’t be so bad.

**

After a fantastic meal, Chris attacked Darren in his kitchen, and he knew tonight was going to be _the_ night.

For some reason unknown to him, Chris had been able to go months without having sex with the hottest man he’d ever laid his eyes on. However, Darren was also one of the busiest men on the planet, so finding the time to have sex was a real struggle.

Now, though, Darren was pushed against his refrigerator in all of his beautiful glory and they were going to have sex, dammit, and he was going to love it.

At least Chris hoped he would.

Chris tangled his hand in Darren’s bottom curls as he felt Darren move his hands up and down the back of his thighs, clasping them smoothly. He slowly spread Chris’ legs and wedged his body between them so they were chest to chest.

Then, Darren began kissing down his neck.

“ _Oooh_ , you feel so good,” Chris moaned, tilting his head all the way back, giving Darren full access.

Darren’s hand slithered to the button of his jeans, undoing them quickly. Chris felt a big grin against his neck as Darren realized he was going full commando, for easy access, of course. He wrapped his fingers around his cock and the rough friction made his toes curl inside of his boots, a string of foul-mouthed words coming from his mouth.

Chris lifted his hips up, wanting Darren to move faster when Darren mumbled into his neck, “Oh, shit, the cassava cake.”

Opening his eyes, Chris turned to his right and gasped at the sight of smoke coming from the oven.

“Fuck, Darren,” he screeched. “Get it out!”

Chris stood on the side of the kitchen like a scared housewife who saw a mouse as his dashing, brave man handled the small flames. He leapt out of his skin when the fire alarm started buzzing. His first thought was how embarrassing this would be if the rest of his apartment building got involved.

“Turn that off,” Darren yelled over the noise.

Running to the hallway by the bathroom, Chris reached up and pressed the silent button, entirely pleased that he remembered where the stupid thing was. When he went back to the kitchen, the smoke fluttered around and Darren stood over an almost black square cake.

He was pouting adorably.

“You are distracting,” Darren mumbled.

Chris laughed. “I’m sorry. C’mon, don’t let this ruin our special night.”

He didn’t want Darren’s sour mood to ruin his plans.

“Special night?”

Darren gave him a boyish smile like he’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Chris walked over to the kitchen, grabbed a towel and threw the cake in the trash. Putting the pan in the sink, Chris ran some water over it and screamed as the scorching water splashed onto his arm.

“Dammit,” Chris shouted, dropping the pan in the sink, which caused more hot water to splash him.

“Jesus, Chris, totally not smart to use hot water to clean a burning pan, man.”

The stinging feeling on his arm and the embarrassment of the entire situation made Chris want to run into his room and cry. Instead, he hurried to the couch and buried his face into a pillow.

“Hey, what’s going on? Are you hurt?” Darren questioned, running to Chris’ side and pulling him firmly against him. “I’m sorry if I was insensitive.”

Resting his head against Darren’s chest, Chris smiled into him as he witnessed Darren go into full daddy mode with him, whispering small words of encouragement into his ear. Chris turned up to him and laid a small, chaste kiss on Darren’s lips.

“I’m fine, thank you. I just–just wanted–”

Chris couldn’t say he wanted the night to be perfect because he wanted to have sex. That would be far from romantic.

“I think maybe you’re a little flustered with the school year ending. Don’t worry about it. Let’s just go to bed.”

_Fuck._

Chris frowned, thinking that this was just a sign that maybe they weren’t ready to have sex. The moment had never been right. Maybe when summer started, they’d be in the ideal situation, with romance, rose petals, and Marvin Gaye playing in the background.

Guess he’d have to wait a little longer for that.

Doesn’t the saying go patience is a virtue?

**

By the end of the week, Chris’ emotions are like a tidal wave. His last day of school left him a hot-ass mess. He almost lost it in front of a room of third graders. Even saying goodbye to Victor made him emotional. He also made a note to warn the fourth grade teachers of his antics.

The highlight, though, was a sweet handwritten thank you note from Kennedy. Chris smiled for hours after receiving it, remembering the shy smile on her face when she gave it to him. The grin was very similar to Darren’s, which also made his heart swell.

Sadly, Chris’ gift-giving skills weren’t at that level, which was one of the many reasons he was late for Kennedy’s birthday party the next day.

Apparently he was the only adult in San Francisco who didn’t know how to properly wrap a gift.

He was speeding down the freeway, and ignoring his buzzing cell phone. It was probably Darren. He had been weird on the phone the last time they spoke. Darren said the word ‘totally’ about a half of dozen times in one conversation, which Chris knew was something he did when he was nervous.

The fact that always suave Darren was twitchy and uptight about him attending his daughter’s birthday party made Chris even more nervous than he already was. Not only would he have to be in the same space as Julia for over an hour, but Darren’s parents would be there and Chris wasn’t exactly sure if their relationship had reached _that_ level just yet.

Pulling up into the neighborhood, Chris’ apprehension was high. There were about a dozen cars along the street and because he was late, he found the worst possible parking spot ever, next to a fire hydrant.

There were purple and pink balloons tied to the mailbox of the Criss household. Ringing the doorbell, Chris silently wished Darren would open the door, thinking that would calm his nerves.

Instead, his worst fears were realized.

“There you are,” Julia said, a smile on her face. “Come on in. The kids are still playing games.”

“Sorry I’m so late,” Chris apologized.

Julia had a remorseful grin when she grabbed Chris’ gift and put it on a big table with the others.

“I can see why. It took me a while to get better at wrapping gifts.”

The chastising wisecrack took Chris by surprise. He wondered whether or not she was okay with him being here. He wanted to ask, but Julia grabbed his hand and led him into the crowded living room.

He forced out a laugh when he saw Darren attempting to make a balloon animal next to the clown, showing off his blue octopus.

“Forever the center of attention,” Julia whispered.

Chris chuckled at the notion as his eyes met Darren’s, who grinned anxiously, obviously concerned about his interactions with Julia. He rushed to them, pulling Chris into an embrace.

He took in Darren’s delicious smell and he was at ease, until he heard tiny voices yelling, “Mr. Colfer!”

Darren released him quickly and stepped aside as a majority of the room stared at them.

_God, I hate attention_ , Chris thought.

Kennedy blitzed to them and Chris smiled big at her beautiful purple dress.

“Thanks for coming, Mr. Colfer.”

Chris bent down to match her height. “Of course. Thank your dad for inviting me. Happy birthday.”

“Thank you,” she said timidly, then returned to her guests, many of which were former students who were whispering among themselves.

“Well, I’m going to go check on the cake. Chris, come with?” Darren asked.

Chris nodded in agreement, following him to a door next to the kitchen. Chris didn’t have time to process that they were in a cramped laundry room before Darren closed the door and forced their lips together in a hungry kiss.

“Not sure when we’re gonna be alone again,” Darren mumbled against his lips.

The moment Chris was pushed up against the dryer, he knew this had to end quickly because knowing their luck, they would probably get caught.

“Darren, we gotta stop.”

Then, like clockwork, the door swung open and a very tall man with dark bugged out eyes interrupted them.

“What the hell, Joey?” Darren yelled.

“Sorry, man, Julia told me to check on the–cake. I’m–I’m just going to go now.”

He fumbled out of the door, nearly tripping on his own feet and Chris couldn’t do anything but laugh.

“That is _not_ how I wanted to meet your best friend, Darren.”

Running his fingers through his hair, Darren began laughing too. “If I had a dime every time Joey, uh, interrupted something, I would be a very wealthy man.”

Chris kissed him one last time. “We should get back to the party. I wanna see Kennedy’s face when she opens my gift.”

The wrapping job may have been a mess, but the present itself would be a winner.

**

Darren’s friends were hilarious and told him all of his boyfriend’s dirty little secrets. Chris wasn’t about to discourage them, either, because college stories were always the best.

His brother added another dose of embarrassing stories that Chris would put into his arsenal for later use. Darren’s parents were nothing but polite to him, even though Julia was attached to his mother’s side for most of the afternoon. It was obvious his parents adored her and Chris could only hope that they would feel the same way about him one day.

Speaking of parents, Chris tried to stay as far away from Julia’s parents as possible. He heard a few whispers that they were less than kind so he stayed in the safe zone at the kids table.

The magician they hired was _really_ good, too, so Chris watched him in favor of mingling and running into them.

When it was time for gifts, Kennedy was at the center of the living room, unwrapping present after present. Her dark curls bounced happily and all Chris saw was Darren. He never realized how alike the pair were when it came to tiny little tics like that.

“That’s from me.” Chris perked up when Kennedy picked up his gift.

When she beamed at him, Chris sunk deeper into the couch next to Joey.

“Relax, man. She’ll love whatever you got her,” Joey whispered as Kennedy ripped off his horrible wrapping job.

Chris grinned up at Joey and turned back to Kennedy. She plucked out the copy of _Charlotte's Web_ and a long brass chain necklace with the book cover on a small locket.

“My favorite book.” She paused and clutched the book to her chest. “I love it. Thank you, Mr. Colfer.” Kennedy slung the necklace around her neck, then ran over to Chris for a tight, unexpected hug. Everyone cooed, and Chris let out a sigh of relief.

“You’re welcome. It’s one of my favorites, too.”

Chris glanced in Darren’s direction, taking in his huge face-splitting smile. He then winked at him, and Chris was floating.

Mission accomplished.

The remainder of the party ran fairly smoothly. Chris volunteered to do cake duty with Darren and his mom, hoping for a little more one-on-one time with Mrs. Criss. However, Darren was actively distracting him with constant touches, whether it was bumping shoulders or fingertips brushing his waist.

“So, Chris, what are your plans this summer since you won’t be teaching?” Cerina Criss asked, breaking Darren’s silent torture of his hips.

“Uh, the library, m’am,” Chris mumbled. “I plan on working at the city library. They have a summer creative writing workshop that I will be heading.”

“He’ll also be writing his book.” Darren chimed in.

Chris whirled his head to him, surprised by the notion. He didn’t remember telling Darren anything about his book.

“Oh, yes. Darren’s told me about your writing. How fantastic.”

Chris smiled at her, still trying to wrap his head around what Darren said about his book. Then, Julia popped her head in. “Dare, we’re going to eat the cake outside on the patio. Mrs. Cerina will you join me?”

“Of course, dear.”

Darren kissed his mom on the cheek before the two women exited the kitchen.

“This is going well, right?” Darren quipped. “Everyone seems to be on their best behavior.”

Chris sliced another piece of chocolate cake and put it on a small plate. “I think it’s going okay. Your parents are lovely.”

“Yeah, they’re great. I hope my friends haven’t been badgering you all day. They can be a little… _much_.”

Chris laughed. “Darren, _you_ are a little much. I’m used to it by now.”

“Ouch.” Darren frowned, pretending to be hurt. “You know things are going so great today, I was thinking about sitting Ken down and telling her about us this week.”

Chris’ chest heaved, and he felt the breath leave this body.

“W–what?”

Darren’s brow creased. “You don’t think it’s a good idea?”

“Ooh, n-no,” Chris stuttered. “I think, if you feel like it’s a good idea. I’m okay with it since I’m not her teacher anymore.”

“That’s right.” Darren reached out for Chris’ hand and place a few tiny kisses on his knuckles. “You aren’t her teacher anymore, which means we can stop living in sin.”

Excitement flourished in Chris’ belly. He had been waiting, not so patiently, for Darren to take the extra leap. The man had already staked claim to his heart, but _this_ was the icing on the cake.

Darren veered forward to capture Chris’ lips and when the connection was made, Chris turned to putty.

The brief peck transpired too quickly, but Chris knew that this wasn’t the time or place. The way Darren stared at him, though, was as if he was staring into his soul. His pupils were dancing with blissful joy, and the words _‘I love you’_ were at the apex of his mind.

He should say it now.

“Aren’t you two precious!”

Chris shifted to see Darren’s two female friends, Lauren and Meredith, at the kitchen door frame.

_Awkward._

“Don’t be jealous, ladies. One day, your prince will come.” Darren linked his arm with Chris and kissed his cheek. “Now come help us bring this cake outside.”

Chris blushed and tried to not make eye contact with Darren’s friend and hurried outside with a titanic-sized smirk on his face.

He and Darren were finally connecting on a deeper level and he did it all on his own. It wasn’t like with Wade when Chris had to fight and crawl to get things out of him.

This was different, good different. And for the first time, Chris really thought he was truly in love.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've come to the end of the road. Thanks so much to every single person who has read this little diddle over the last year. (Crazy!)
> 
> Hope you enjoy the way Chris & Darren end up.
> 
> Also always send me your thoughts: [Tumblr](http://www.dontfretbaby.tumblr.com)!
> 
> *Always always thanks to Stacey for beta work and encouragement to get this thing done!*
> 
>  
> 
> _(Last side note: There is a link in this chapter. I think hearing it while reading adds to the whole experience)._

The life of a songwriter can be made with just _one_ hit.

All it takes is one song making waves that could pave the way for a songwriter to become a hot commodity.

It can’t be just any song though. The artist behind the song had to be right as well. It’s like proverbially capturing lightning in a bottle, something Darren had been chasing for years.

He just might have it because he had been writing much more lately.

Darren knew what the cause of his random inspiration was.

_Christopher Paul Colfer._

The man had Darren singing in his sleep, the most ridiculous melodies humming in his head. To say it was all a bit overwhelming would be an understatement.

But the songs kept coming, especially one ballad that flowed out of him more effortlessly than any song he’d ever written, including ‘Granger Danger,’ a tune that he wrote in about five minutes after he and Joey smoked an unreasonable amount of pot.

Now he had his fingertips on a blockbuster song that could make his career and all he needed was a little more inspiration.

**

His fingertips have also been staking claim to Chris.

His lips, too.

And his heart, well, that’s been in Chris’ hands almost since the day they met.

However, saying it out loud was an entirely different story.

Darren had almost confessed those three little words a million times since Kennedy’s birthday, but the words just couldn’t seem to get from his heart to his mouth.

He knew Chris loved him in so many ways since then too, mostly because he had read about it in Chris' journal.

_Its’ so wrong. He knows it._

It was becoming an addiction, though.

Whenever Darren was over at Chris’ apartment, which was pretty much everyday, he just couldn’t help but sneak a peek here and there. He would only read a few sentences, a couple pages at most, and then he would quickly put it down.

He wasn’t trying to be malicious, of course. Chris was just so emotionally distant. It was like pulling teeth to get him to open up about anything. Their latest argument had been about Darren’s proposal to move in together. Sure, they’d only been dating for more than six months, but Chris had been complaining so much about outgrowing his apartment that moving in together seemed like the most logical choice.

Chris thought otherwise.

He thought they weren’t ready to make such a big step, and he worried what Julia would say.

That’s what he wrote in his journal, anyway. He only _told_ Darren that he would think about it.

Darren wasn’t a bad guy for wanting to know how his boyfriend really felt about that and other situations, or for feeling bored at Chris’ place.

He had been waiting for Chris to get back from his shift at the library when Darren decided to start from the beginning of the journal.

_Sat. February 14, 2012_

_I finally did it. I finally broke up with Wade today._

_It wasn’t easy. It was hard, really fucking hard. But last night when he was so drunk that he shoved me – that was the last straw._

_He didn’t mean to shove me, but it was definitely a wakeup call._

_I thought to myself, “Chris, what the hell are you doing with your life?”_

_Shit – just realized it’s Valentine’s Day._

_Will I ever love again?_

Chris had never mentioned that to him before.

A wave of rage hit him out of nowhere. He thought back to all of the heart-wrenching stories he told Chris about his rocky and unhealthy relationship with Julia. He revealed every embarrassing detail and Chris hadn’t even mentioned _anything_ about his past.

_“Darren...”_

The voice shook him out of his thoughts and when he looked up at Chris, his face was filled with fright. Before he had the opportunity to even comprehend what was happening, Chris warned him in a low and dangerous voice, “Drop it, Darren.”

He did what he was told, still stunned and disturbed by how calm Chris was behaving in this moment.

“I think you should go, Darren.” Then Chris’ face twisted in despair, and Darren felt his own heart breaking for what he had done.

But he drummed up courage from somewhere and cooked up a defense.

“I’m sorry, babe. Let me explain.”

Chris held his hand up as a shield. “No need. You just had to completely invade my privacy. That’s all.”

“It wasn’t like that.”

Darren’s pulse began to race. He hadn’t felt in such deep trouble since he was five and he and Chuck found out where their parents hid the Christmas presents.

That didn’t end well, and this wasn’t going to either, no matter what Darren said.

So he settled on, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Yeah, that’s fucking clear,” Chris snapped. “I cannot believe that you would do this, freakin’ read my journal. My writing is personal, Darren. You know that.”

Darren stood up and attempted to reach out for Chris’ hand, but to no avail. Standing in defeat, he mumbled, “I know. It was wrong, but sometimes you’re so aloof. I can’t read your fucking mind, Chris.”

“So, this is my fault?” Chris shouted, for the first time ever in Darren’s presence. “Turning this around on me isn’t going to help your case. Neither does sitting there all comfortable like you--Wait...” Chris paused, running his fingers through his hair. “This is how–how you–”

_Oh, no._

“Chris, just wait a second.”

“This isn’t your first time reading it is it?” Chris interrupted him. “Kennedy’s birthday--Did you invite me to her birthday party because of what you read in my journal?”

The question was out there and Darren knew that lying would only make things worse.

“Yes, I did, but I was going to–”

“Do it anyway?” Chris laughed angrily. “Get out.”

“Chris, please.” Darren stopped, distracted by the tears falling from Chris’ eyes.

“I thought we connected,” Chris whimpered through light sobs.

Darren felt like he could hear both of their hearts breaking simultaneously.

“We did connect. We are still connecting now.” Darren reached out for Chris, hoping he wouldn’t jerk his hand away. “I love you.”

_Darren Everett Criss – Prince of Bad Timing._

His bottom lip between his teeth, Chris backed away from Darren slowly, not accepting his offer. “ _Now_ you say it?”

“The timing is terrible, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t mean it.”

“How can I ever believe anything you say? You probably _know_ I’ve been waiting for you to say it because you read it in my journal.” Chris’ cheeks turned beet red. “I don’t know why I’m continuing this conversation. I said get out, Darren. Please, just–just go.”

It was then that Darren felt his eyes stinging with tears.

He wanted so badly to give Chris a kiss goodbye because he could just tell this was going to be the last time.

But he didn’t.

He knew Chris wouldn’t let him.

Maybe he wouldn’t even let him back in his heart ever again.

**

Two days later, the gravity of what Darren had done weighed on him heavily.

The first twenty-four hours were a haze. He knew that Chris would need some space so Darren gave it to him and spent the entire day in bed and on his couch.

But the following day, the reality of it all hit him the hardest when Kennedy came over to spend the weekend. She noticed Chris’ absence halfway through the day and by dinner time when Chris’ spot at the dinner table wasn’t filled, she had questions.

“Daddy, where’s Mr. Colfer?”

Darren reluctantly looked up from his food. “He’s, uh, he’s busy tonight, sweetheart. Finish your veggies,” he instructed, hoping that would be enough of a reason for now, but he knew how curious his daughter would be.

“Can we see him tomorrow at the library? I wanna get a new book.”

“Kennedy,” Darren sternly commanded, his fork clinking against his plate and the sound caused his daughter to leap. “Eat your dinner, please.”

They ate the rest of the meal in a tension-filled silence. Darren put his daughter to bed soon after without a song, which he realized hadn’t happened in months when he struggled into his own bed, alone.

He spent his second restless night staring at his cell phone, hoping and praying for any message from Chris. By midnight when he knew Chris wouldn’t be up regardless, his heart broke even more.

_It was really over._

So, for another night he cried, _hard_. His wet pillow clung to his cheek as he thought about how amazing the last six months had been with Chris by his side. Darren had never felt more alive, more himself, and now – he was empty and raw.

Darren tried his damnest to keep his sobs to a minimum, not wanting to wake Kennedy. However, an hour later, Darren felt a dip in his bed and a pair of tiny arms wrapped around him.

“Daddy, don’t cry.” Her pocket-sized voice was barely heard over Darren’s weeping. He turned over in bed, grasping his daughter in his arms probably a little too tight, but he didn’t care. “What’s wrong? Is this about Chris?”

Darren smiled at the fact that this was the first time she called him by his first name. “I messed up, Ken. I hurt him really bad.”

Kennedy’s face was clouded with confusion as if he said the dumbest thing in the world. “Just say you’re sorry, duh. You always make me say it when I do something wrong and you forgive me.”

“It’s more complicated than that, honey.”

Kennedy sighed and reached up to wipe some stray tears running down Darren’s cheeks.

“You love him, dad. You can’t give up.”

His face flushed at her comment. He and Chris never sat Kennedy down and explained the particulars of their relationship. She never saw them kiss or hold hands or anything remotely romantic, but since her birthday, they had gone on tons of trips around San Francisco together. They talked a lot about telling her, but were still working out exactly how to do it.

“What are you talking about?” Darren asked, attempting _not_ to blow his cover.

Kennedy laughed at his question though. “I’m not dumb, dad.” She fluttered his eyelashes. “I know you two are dating.”

“What–How?”

“I _might_ have saw you two holding hands in the kitchen at my birthday party. I asked Granny Cerina and she told me to keep quiet until you told me. She said it would be good acting experience.”

 _My mother_ , Darren thought.

“Well, I might have a talk with her about that.” He was unable to drum up a reaction other than that; instead he cuddled his future Meryl Streep into his chest and faded into sleep.

**

A week later, Darren tried to accept the fact that things were over.

Somehow he destroyed the best thing that had ever happened to him since Kennedy was born.

Like always though, he dove into his music. He still felt inspired, but in a different way than before. Heartbreak was always easier for Darren to write about than love.

Well, until Chris came along, he thought with a sigh.

He was basically living in his music studio in downtown L.A. The Italian restaurant around the corner delivered and there was a liquor store close by so he was in good hands. Every couple of hours, Joey would text him to try and convince him to go home and at least shower.

Darren wasn’t having it.

By day four of his studio cleanse, Joey apparently gathered reinforcements.

_“Julia, what are you doing here?”_

“Go home, Darren,” she chastised. “Joey says you haven’t been back there in days.”

After a beat, Darren finally turned around in his chair to face her. “Where’s my daughter?”

Julia put her hand on her hip and scolded him in _that_ way that made Darren’s stomach do somersaults. It was very similar to the look his mother gave him when she was disappointed, which was the absolute worst.

“She’s spending an afternoon with Joey, her godfather, who happens to be your best friend that’s worried sick about you by the way, while her mother tries to talk some sense into her father. Darren–” Julia’s rant was bitter, but the sunken look on Darren’s face made her sigh. She sat down in a nearby couch and her eyes softened. “Kennedy told me about Chris, so is that what all of this depressed shit is about?”

“I’m not depressed,” Darren mumbled.

With a sympathetic look etched on her face, Julia reached over to place her hand on his knee. “Have you forgotten how much I know you? This is what you do.” Her eyes scanned the studio. “The studio is your cave. I get it. You come here to get away from your problems, but it’s not healthy, Darren. You’ve got to face whatever it is you did.”

_No. Not yet._

That’s the one fact of everything that Darren couldn’t accept. What he did was wrong, so fucking wrong. He knew it, but accepting that he could do something so terrible to someone he loved was too much to handle.

He didn’t know what type of fucking person he was anymore.

“I–I messed up, Jules.” His voice was coarse and raspy and the weight of what he’d did smacked him in the face again. “Why do I always fuck up?”

_The truth._

It hurt badly.

But for the first time since his divorce with Julia, Darren admitted out loud to his downfall. When he really thought about it, he played a hand in the demise of almost every relationship he’d been in.

So the question remained: Why did he always fuck up?

“Can I be brutally honest with you?”

Darren shrugged at her question. _Might as well._

“For someone so confident and outgoing,” Julia continues, “you are so unsure of yourself. Someone doesn’t give you their undivided attention for _one_ moment and your mind goes a mile a minute thinking the worst.”

It took Darren a while to drum up a response, until he thought about it and finally conceded. “Chris made me unsure of myself because I never knew where I stood with him. He would be so closed off with me, but he would speak so freely about how he felt about us in his journal. I saw it one day and started reading it and I couldn’t–I just couldn’t stop.”

“And he caught you.” Julia cut him off. “Jealousy is your downfall. When Kennedy was first born, you were so jealous of her that you fought me constantly. Oh, when her first word was mom, that pissed you off. Or when Kennedy had her first sleepover, and you pouted for a good couple of days because she decided to do that instead of spending the weekend with you. Now in this situation, you were figuratively jealous of Chris’ writing because I’m assuming that's something important to him. Maybe you felt like it was more important than you even. And sure, keeping things from you wasn’t the best on Chris’ part, but you were wrong too.”

His heart almost strangling him, Darren felt unexpected tears pool his eyes. As he slowly accepted that she was right about every word, his heart constricted, the tears finally falling down his face. Instantly, he felt Julia’s arm wrap around him.

“ _Daisy_ ,” she caressed the name, rubbing her hand up and down his back to calm him down in a way that only she could. “You love so hard that sometimes it doesn’t work in your favor, but that doesn’t mean that you should change that. It just means that maybe you should think more often before it causes irrevocable damage to your relationship. But, honey, you definitely deserve to be with someone who loves as hard as you do.”

 _And Chris did_ , Darren thought to himself.

Chris did love him and now Darren saw exactly how much.

Chris didn’t love exactly the way Darren did; he was all about dramatic gestures and over the top declarations, whereas Chris wasn’t like that. He showed his love by his actions.

He put his job on the line for him when they first met. He dealt with Darren’s less-than-perfect situation: a single father who still co-parented with his ex-wife. Chris listened to him and he was there, fighting every fight, without judgment. Chris did all of that and so much more without asking for anything in return.

That was love.

All he wanted was someone to trust after coming out of a bad relationship, and Darren broke that.

“I love him, Jules. I gotta get him back,” he declared with authority.

Julia kissed the top of his head. “Of course you will.”

**

_**To: Chris** _

_**4:50 p.m.** _

_The Layover in Oakland at 9. An artist I’ve been working with is performing. I think you’ll like the music. Then can we talk, please? This is my last ditch effort after unanswered phone calls and texts. I don’t wanna give up._

_**To: Chris** _

_**4:51 p.m.** _

_If you come tonight, pay attention to the last song. It’s about you. I love you._

Darren didn’t get a reply to his texts and he wasn’t surprised.

He still had a lot of hope, though, that maybe Chris would show up and give him another chance, or at least he would apologize and _maybe_ they could become friends.

His stomach dropped at the thought.

He loved the man too much to consider a friendship, but Darren also couldn’t imagine his life without him.

It was a compromise he would have to make.

Thankfully, his job was keeping his mind occupied for now.

It was going to be a night of pomp and circumstance mostly. Record label execs and a who’s who of the music industry packed a small music lounge to see Melody Taylor, a bubbly nineteen-year-old singer with a booming voice that he was teamed up with a few months ago. Somehow despite being wrapped up in Chris, Darren was able to crank out a number of songs that he hoped would make her debut album, including a new ballad that he wrote during his stint locked up in his studio.

Darren had a feeling it was the type of song that all songwriters dream about, his version of ‘I Will Always Love You,’ or ‘My Heart Will Go On,’ or possibly his ‘Someone Like You.’

It was a song that he hoped would speak to the masses and become a mega hit, and maybe even lead to Grammy or two.

Darren was hopeful, that’s for damn for sure.

**

Right before Melody’s set started, Darren peeked out at the crowd hoping to be met with a set of glowing blue eyes. Instead, he was greeted with a half-tipsy Joey and a surprisingly cheerful Julia waving theatrically. Darren must’ve had disappointment etched on his face because Julia mouthed to him: “‘He’s not here.”

While his heart was already slapped together with band-aids, it cracked a little more, if that was even possible.

Then that sense of hope kicked him and Darren just _knew_ that the tonight would end in his favor.

Maybe he was rather dumb or optimistic, or maybe a little bit of both.

But he knew things just had to go right.

**

Once the show started, Darren masked his feelings with the hopes of putting on the best show possible. He jumped back and forth from playing guitar and piano as Melody rocked his lyrics as if they were her own.

After a funky record that was a perfect mixture of electronic pop and rock, and then a brief intermission, Darren sat at the piano, nervously hoping the crowd liked this next song as much as the rest of the set; it was his pride and joy, a ballad he had written called ‘Didn’t Know Love.’

He reached for his phone to see if Chris had replied when he saw a text from Julia.

**_From: Jules_ **

**_9:33 p.m._ **

_He’s here!!!!! :)_

Darren attempted to play it cool, but fuck that. His head perked up to where Julia and Joey were sitting and there he found Chris, sipping on what Darren knew was probably a rum and coke. He was laughing at something Joey said while Julia winked at Darren.

Applause interrupted the moment when Melody came back on stage.

“Thank you all for coming tonight to my very first showcase.” She paused when the crowd clapped again and then spoke once more. “Before we do my final song tonight, I want to take a moment and thank my amazing songwriter Darren Criss.” Melody turned to look at him, and Darren smirked as the spotlight hit him. “Hopefully, he’ll be performing here solo very soon because he’s an remarkable musician.”

Darren heard Joey give a ‘whoop whoop’ and turned to their section to see Chris clapping. It was the first time they’d seen each other since _that_ night and Darren noticed almost immediately that his hair was a bit shorter and more styled. Instead of his normal graphic tee and jeans, he was wearing a baby blue dress shirt and black skinny jeans with boots.

He looked hot; not that he didn’t before, but it seemed to Darren that he was trying to impress him tonight.

“So, Darren brought to me this next song a few days ago and it is by far the most emotional song I’ve ever recorded,” Melody said, continuing the introduction. “The song is about thinking you know what love means, and then you meet someone who completely changes that. It’s beautiful, and I’m glad Darren trusts me with something so beautiful and poignant. It’s called ‘[Didn’t Know Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3LVOH1eiew).’’

Darren played the opening chords and Melody’s voice soon followed. _“I thought I had it long ago. I held on, but it let go. It kissed me on a subway train and I melted. It got my hand, it brushed my cheek. It moved right in, it cut me deep. You know it even had a name, I really felt it.”_

At the chorus, Darren kept his eyes glued at his keyboard. The personal lyrics matched with the unfortunate mess he and Chris were in, and he had a feeling that looking at Chris would send him into a fit of tears. However, when the second verse began and the rest of the band joined in, temptation won over. _“It’s a blessing. It’s a curse. You know you’ve found it when it hurts. It can drive you off a cliff, but it’s worth it. Careful where you spend the night. It’s complicated when it’s right. You can make me such a mess. Yeah, you’re perfect.”_

Chris’ stormy eyes glittered so mesmerizingly in the dim lighting that Darren struggled to keep his emotions together at the song’s bridge. He didn’t want to be a blubbering mess before he had the chance to have a rational conversation with Chris.

_“I didn’t know love, not even close. This is more beautiful and frightening than I’ve ever know. It’s making me weak, it’s making me strong. It’s making me afraid I’m gonna wake up and find you gone.”_

As Melody prolonged the last few notes, Darren saw Chris get up from his seat and head to the back of the lounge and out the door. Somehow Darren managed to repress the urge to leap off the stage and chase after him.

**

After the show, Darren did the unprofessional thing. Instead of mingling with the record execs who would probably be chock-full of praise over his songwriting, he retreated to his dressing room in hopes of stopping a flood of tears springing from his eyes.

He had never felt so _stupid_.

Why in the world would he think a silly love song could piece together what he had so carelessly ripped to shreds? The only thing on Darren’s mind now was to pack up his shit, and his emotions, and get the hell out of San Francisco, maybe for good.

Darren couldn’t imagine running into Chris ever again after tonight. He could convince Julia that moving to L.A. permanently would be great for her career, and that Kennedy could get into acting classes there. She would love Los Angeles.

That could be his the new future.

So when he heard a knock on the door, he knew Julia would be on the other end. Opening it, he had all but made up his mind that he’d approach her about his idea. However, who _was_ on the other side nearly gave him a heart attack.

“Chris.” Darren’s heart teetered at the sight of him.

“Hi.”

He looked so defenseless, fear very much apparent all over his face. Darren was pretty sure his own expression matched because he felt like all of the wind had been knocked out of him, and the only audible sound was his rapid breathing.

“Can I come in?” Chris whispered, his voice surprisingly husky.

Darren was so overwhelmed by his presence, the current situation, and all of the stress from the last few week, that he stood there for a beat and a half just staring at Chris. It wasn’t until the beautiful man in front of him cleared his throat that Darren snapped back into reality, moving aside for Chris to walk into the room.

Abruptly that familiar pull between them surfaced and it was almost smothering.

Finally Chris broke the silence. “You were great out there tonight.”

“Oh, thanks.” Darren giggled, _yeah, fucking giggled_ , and felt his cheeks turn red instantly. Avoiding eye contact, he got a view of himself in a mirror and cringed. He was drenched in sweat, far from how he wanted to look when Chris got a full view of him up close.

_Could this get any more embarrassing?_

“Glad you, uh, enjoyed the show. Melody really is fantastic.”

“But you were the star up there,” Chris said as polite as ever. “Sure, she’s the voice, but _you_ \--you’re the real artist.”

For a moment, Darren was stunned, literally dumbfounded. That was probably the nicest thing anyone had ever said to him, and he couldn’t believe it.

_Why wasn’t he still pissed?_

“You ran out,” Darren whispered, his mouth dry and his heart still broken with the memory. “Why did you come back, to compliment me? Could’ve done that over text, Chris, instead of--” He paused in hopes of erasing the longing out of his voice. “Seeing you is not good for me right now.”

“Why the hell did you invite me here then?” He admonished Darren questioningly, fury clouding his face.

“Because I thought---” Darren didn’t know what he thought. “If you came here for closure, it’s fine. I can handle it.”

_He can’t handle it._

His palms were sweating more now than when he was plucking his guitar strings during the show.

“I didn’t come here for that.” Chris said plainly. “Is that what _you_ want, closure?”

“No!” Darren choked out. “That is the last thing I want, but the last time we spoke--It was bad.”

_That’s an understatement._

“At this point, I miss you too much to be mad anymore,” Chris answered, and Darren’s heart swelled with hope. “I’m still hurt by what you did, but I understand why. I’m not the type of person who wears their heart on their sleeve.”

“And I obviously am.” Darren’s heart sunk for the hundredth time in the last few minutes.

“You are.” Chris’ voice was menacingly soft, as if he was debating what to say next. “That’s one of the things I love about you.”

_Love -- not past tense._

With a heavy heart, Darren stood stupefied, unable to move a muscle as he watched Chris walk briskly towards him. When Darren looked up, Chris was beside him, so tantalizingly close.

“I’ve spent the last few years trying to put into words how I feel,” Chris explained earnestly. “That’s why my journal, my writing, is so important to me. I’m not like you.” He clasped Darren’s hands. “You are able to fearlessly put your feelings and your words on display for the world to see. The last song? It was beautiful. I love you, Darren.”

And like that, words plummet out of Darren like an oil spill, his heart suddenly restarted.

“I love you too, so fucking much. That song came so easily for me because I love you more than I could ever imagine loving anyone. I know I messed up, and I promise we can work this out. I will regain your trust and I will never, ever, do anything so _stupid_ again.”

In no time, Chris latched on to Darren’s hips and pulled him to his chest, his lips claiming Darren’s. He kissed him back, reverently and lovingly. Darren clutched Chris’ face with both hands, leaning up to kiss him more deeply. When Darren’s lips parted a teeny bit, Chris took it as an opportunity to unleash his ever-pleasing tongue.

Too soon, Chris was the first to break the kiss, and Darren whimpered at the lack of contact. Chris didn’t go far though, their foreheads pressed together, and Darren couldn’t feel his legs. He grabbed Chris’ shoulders to steady himself, stroking his nose against Chris’.

“Oh baby,” Chris mumbled, moving to kiss away tears that Darren didn’t even know had fallen.

Darren tipped his face up to meet Chris’ soft blue eyes.

“Take me home, Darren.”

“Home?”

Chris smirked knowingly at Darren, as if he was about to reveal some big secret.

“I moved out of my apartment today.” Chris sighed, the relief in his voice. “If your offer still stands, that is.”

Darren squeaked, overwhelmed with excitement. “Really? You really want to move in?”

“Yeah, I really do. Brian and Kennedy will be best friends.”

Darren imagined his persistent daughter dressing Brian up in costumes and Brian looking less than pleased.

_That cat is going to hate it._

But Chris’ full grin was too cute to ruin his mood, so Darren said, firmly. “Brian will love her.”

**

It didn’t take long after Chris moved in for Kennedy to request spending more time at Darren’s house.

Usually it was every other weekend. Now, Darren was lucky if he didn’t come home on a Thursday night to see his living room turned into a makeshift fairytale land with castles made out of sheets and crowns crafted from paper. He didn’t mind though. It gave him a good excuse to bust out with an impromptu Disney tune.

It also gave Julia a much-deserved break from time-to-time, including one Wednesday night when she had a blind date. Darren sat with Kennedy at his dining room table, going over her first homework assignment from her acting class. He looked up every now and then to see Julia and Chris, drinking a glass of wine in the kitchen, Chris giving her words of encouragement before she headed out.

Darren thought he’d feel differently about seeing Julia all dolled up in a tight dress and high heels about to go out on the town with a complete stranger. However, the only overwhelming feeling in his body was happiness.

After everything Julia has been through, with and without him, she deserved to be as happy as he was.

And boy, was he happy.

“Alright, gang, I’m going to head out,” Julia announced. “Dare, make sure she goes to bed at a decent hour. She stayed up until midnight last night!”

Darren kept himself from rolling his eyes and nodded instead. “Of course, in bed by nine, right Ken?”

“Yep!”

“Mom! Stop it. Go, go, go. Have fun!” Kennedy said with a laugh after being nearly smothered in Julia’s tight embrace.

Darren saw Julia’s eyes start to water and he took that at his cue to lead her out of the room.

“Get it together, Jules,” Darren said, ushering her to the front door. “You look beautiful, honestly. This guy is going to be stupid not to fall in love with you instantly.”

She gawked at him, blushing a little. “Stop it. You’re just saying that because you have to.”

“No, honestly.” Darren reached up and tucked a loose piece of hair behind her ear. “This blind date might not be the one, but it could be. You never know.”

“I just--want, so badly, what you and Chris have.” Julia’s words were so raw and honest that they took Darren by surprise.

He was really fucking lucky.

“And you will.” Darren kissed her forehead. “Now, get outta here! Prince Charming awaits.”

Julia hugged him one last time for good measure and headed to her car.

Walking back into the dining room, he got a view of Chris and Kennedy in the kitchen starting dinner. They were singing along to some song on the kitchen radio. Then Chris caught him staring and subtly winked in his direction.

They’ve come so far.

Before Chris, he thought the only amount of love he had left was reserved for his daughter. He was completely happy with that though.

Romantic love had badly burned him and he knew his little girl wouldn’t break his heart like that, leaving him raw and exposed.

Love had done that too often in the past. Then Chris showed up and Darren threw all of that logic out the window. Darren had risked all of the potential heartache of a new relationship because he had a feeling about Chris.

He was so glad that that feeling wasn’t wrong.

Though he had hurt Chris, and consequently himself, throughout their journey to this moment, and he still harbored many regrets for how he handled their relationship, he could never regret taking a chance on his heart with Chris because now, he _knows_.

Chris was _the_ one, but not in the cliche way of most Disney movies. It was deeper than that. He was the one who fit every aspect of his life, and that included sharing him with his daughter.

Kennedy couldn’t be happier, especially now. Her laugh fills the entire room with joy, just like Darren’s, and she has never looked so carefree.

She’s been through a lot too.

However, the guilt of her world being a constant back-and-forth is gone now. Chris gave Darren consistency so now Kennedy has consistency as well.

Plus she couldn’t look happier.

And neither could Darren.


End file.
